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November 03, 2006

Biggest Story Of The Century: Some Guy You Never Heard Of Is A Homo

At least according to the left, it's a very, very big story.

Because this guy you never heard of is also an Evangelist you never heard of, and making anti-gay statements you never heard of, while having gay sex with dudes you definitely never heard of.

But it turns out he's a homo, so suddenly he's someone you're going to be hearing a lot about, and, in fact, will become within 24 hours The Most Important Figure On The Religious Right In All Of The History Of The Universe.

And you'll hear less about the fact that, for a fire-breathing right-winger, he was kind of a liberal pussy.

But no matter. I just found out another one of my heroes who I had never heard of before had on occasion lunched at the Sizzler's Man-Steak Buffet.

His name is seared, seared into my memory, or will be, once I find out what it is.

I haven't been this dejected since I found out George Michaels was gay and Nick Rhodes was straight.

Reports say that some of his parishoners began to become suspicious of his sexuality when they realized he looked like this:


(Okay, cheap joke, probably borderline homophobic, and on top of that, even Instapundit's made it already. But, come on. I'm not saying that some people "look gay." I would never say such a thing. No one "looks gay."

On the other hand, some people do "look Supra-Gay.")

Apparently he was outed by a gay prostitute whom he'd been paying for messages, with incidental gay sex and drugs included gratis.

I feel bad for this guy. I mean, an Evangelist preacher buying drugs and paying for sex from a gay hooker.

Sometimes disaster just seems to strike out of nowhere, doesn't it?

I wonder how people hold on to their faith when such unforeseeable tragedies befall them.

By the way... The Gay Hooker came forward with his allegations when he realized an Evangelist was against 1) ordaining gay preachers and 2) gay marriage.

You can imagine how important those issues are -- beconing a preacher, getting married -- to a Gay Hooker.

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posted by Ace at 07:35 PM

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