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August 17, 2006

The Boy Can't Help It: Sullivan Peddles A NEW Conspiracy Theory, Even More Unhinged Than The Last!

Wheels. Wagon. A divorce based on "irreconcilable differences."

Check out this lunacy. Though he's careful to say he's not endorsing it, just "airing it," he goes ahead anyway and endorses it.

Such sweet, sweet crazy, I should just cut out the middleman and apply his blog directly to my ass!

Long story short: Cheney and Rumsfeld intentionally lost the War in Iraq so they wouldn't be troubled with any nation-building nonsense (having already proven its ineffectiveness) when they went all shock-and-awe on Iran.

Oh. Myyyyyy.

I have long wondered whether Cheney and Rumsfeld ever believed that their job was to build a new democracy in Iraq. Rumsfeld had dealt with and supported Saddam in the past; Cheney was extremely suspicious of occupying Iraq in 1990. One subversive theory - which I'm not endorsing, just airing - is that both merely wanted to turn the Saddam regime to rubble, and then play along with neocon democracy supporters, while making sure that the military was never given enough resources to do nation-building. Then Cheney and Rumsfeld could prove their point about the impossibility of reforming the Muslim world, and promote the view that we need merely to pummel enemies, project military fear across the region, and deter Islamo-fascism by "shock and awe." The Likud strategy, in other words.

Under this interpretation, Bush was too trusting or dumb to understand the deviousness of their plan to fail in Iraq; Wolfowitz saw it too late and got out; Rice is stuck managing the debris that a democracy-promoting president and a democracy-hostile Pentagon created. The troops were just pawns in Cheney's and Rumsfeld's strategy. This interpretation would mean that incompetence is not the issue. Cheney and Rumsfeld have succeeded: they have turned Iraq into a failed state, removed its capacity to make WMDs, and detonated a regional Sunni-Shi'a war. Now they want to use the same brutalist strategy against Iran. This theory is probably [!] too complex and subtle to be true. The screw-up theory of history is more often the most plausible. But it does make some internal sense - if you assume that Cheney and Rumsfeld are not complete incompetents.

Probably too subtle and complex to be true. But, hey, it could be true.

Emphases and exclamation point added, of course.

Note that Sullivan himself has long assumed Cheney and Rumsfeld are "complete incompetents," but, presented the chance to swap out incompetence for deliberate malice, he leaps at the chance.

He even manages to rope the Jews into this, somehow, by invoking "the Likud" strategy.

As they say, you don't have a grand conspiracy theory until you involve either the 1) Jews or 2) Knights Templar or 3) Jewish members of the Knights Templar.

I guess the Templars have been busy these past few years with the Sacred Feminine and all.

He's now saying shit that Kos himself would consider too lunatic to print.

Thanks to the Wardrobe Door. Here are a couple of the stories over there:

A professor has taken to defending the Prince of Darkness, no not Karl Rove, the other one. No one in academia would defend Rove, but the Devil, why not? He is a "victim of unfair press and groundless aspersions." Everyone (but the Jews) is a victim, including Satan.

If you can support Hezballah, surely you can give a little love to Satan himself.

Former NBA and Maryland Terrapin forward, Lonny Baxter was arrested after shots were fired two blocks from the White House. He has since signed with a three-year deal with a Hezbollah sponsored team in Lebanon to play shooting guard.

Shooting guard, huh? Seems like he's got the skills.

Rosetta:

2 This conspiracy theory has layers shooting out of its ass!

All the best ones do, Kid. All the best ones do.


I think... poet laureate of Satan Ozzy Osbourne said it best:

All aboard! Hahaha

Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe, it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing
Life’s a bitter shame
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeah yeah

Heirs of the cold war
That’s what we’ve become
Inheriting troubles, I'm mentaly numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I’m living with something that just isn’t fair

Mental wounds not healing
Who and what’s to blame
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train



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posted by Ace at 12:40 PM

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