Lebanon Balks At Disarming Hezbollah, Or Even Sending Troops To The South | Main | "Fauxla," Fauxtography Song Parody of the Kinks' "Lola"
August 14, 2006

Astronomers Conspire To Steal Pluto's Status As Planet

Under New Definitions, Pluto Will Likely Be Downgraded To A Mere "Trans-Neputunian Object," Whereas 14 Other Bodies Will Become "Planets"

Goodbye, Pluto; Hello, Object 2003 UB313:

Pluto may no longer be classified as a planet following a debate by astronomers at the International Astronomical Union.

Roughly 3,000 astronomers and scientists are meeting in Prague this week for the union and are expected to determine whether Pluto is a planet under newly defined terms.

The planet, which was first discovered in 1930 and is the farthest away from the sun, is considerably smaller than the other eight planets in our solar system.

By defining exactly what a planet is, scientists could be forced to downgrade Pluto's status and promote 14 other bodies.

Larger bodies than Pluto have been discovered at the edge of the solar system, including a rocky object known officially as 2003 UB313 that was identified by Professor Mike Brown at the California Institute of Technology.

The object has been measured by the Hubble space telescope as having a diameter of 1,490 miles, beating Pluto's diameter by roughly 70 miles.

...

"Pluto is not worthy of being called just a plain planet," said Alan Boss, an astrophysicist at the Carnegie Institution in Washington, DC.

"But it's perfectly fine as an ice dwarf planet or a historical planet."

And who's behind this crafty attempt to strip Pluto of its historical status as the plucky little period at the end of the solar sentence?

That's right. You Know Who. Probably so they could sell us more styrofoam balls and paint when we have to re-do all of our old second-grade shoebox dioramas.

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Object 2003 UB313... great. It just flows.

Thanks to George.

More Funny From Readers: Bumperstickerist--

Dr. Michael Brown seems a bit Creativity Impaired. UB313? jeesh.

Were I to discover a planet I'd name it Planet www.GoldenPalace.Com and
start raking in that sweet, sweet astronomy money.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:12 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Warai-otoko: "Well, now I'm convinced they're on the right side ..."

Coed from 30 Years Ago: "Marco Rubio forced me to do the Dirty Sanchez back ..."

Tom Servo: ""They do not have voting rights." If they move ..."

All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes: "Last comic book I bought was "Sally of the Wastela ..."

All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes: "Last comic book I bought was "Sally of the Wastela ..."

Lucky Luciano: " Puerto Rico - I have a plan for an entertainme ..."

rickl: "[i]467 Leftists phone in BOMB THREAT to stop FCC ..."

Randy West: "537 Marco is signalling a no vote because of the 2 ..."

Tom Servo: "Alien 3, many years ago ..."

IllTemperedCur: " And now they are. Posted by: Random Hawaii Ju ..."

Tom Servo: "I started to watch Alien 3 years ago. As soon as ..."

runner: "they could not vote for a US Senator in Florida wh ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64