« NYT Editorial Demanded Financial Surveillance | Main | The Case of The Motiveless Mass-Murdering Muslim Maniac »
June 27, 2006

Heavy News

600 pound woman thrown through sunroof of SUV by mishap.

Thirty-seven-year-old Ruth Matthews told paramedics that another vehicle cut her off in traffic, and she took evasive action to avoid a crash. Her Isuzu Amigo rolled over and she was thrown through the sunroof and onto the roadway. Investigators say she was not wearing her seatbelt.

Paramedics initially tried to fly Matthews to Tampa General Hospital, but her weight, estimated at 600 pounds, made it impossible. Emergency crews were able to transport her to St. Joseph’s Hospital, where she is listed in stable condition.

Obviously that's kind of embarrassing and sad. Add that to the list of ways to know you need to start losing weight. 1-- paramedics need to cut a hole through your wall to get to you because you can't move from the bed; 2 -- you have to be moved from your home by crane; 3 -- you can't be airlifted by a typical light helicopter.

Remember the 1,235 pound Mexican guy? He's actually on a diet. And he's lost 200 pounds. Which can't be all water weight, even for him.

That's Barry Sears, inventor of "The Zone" diet, which sucks, by the way. Anyway, the Mexican heavyweight is on that diet, and Sears is proud about his losing so much weight.

Although I think he's going to have to firm up a little more before they start using his picture in adverts.

Thanks to JackStraw and yls, respectively.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:39 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
The universally beloved Barack Obama: " [i]i have many times heard the law referred to a ..."

Jane D'oh: "[i]I apologize for highjacking this post but my wi ..."

t-bird: "[i]Trying to think if I've ever eaten bear.[/i] ..."

Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet: "Ovvers summoned. Probably groggy from all the Wel ..."

Jinx the Cat: "I have a couple buckets of tar around here somewhe ..."

Jmel: "Trump's threat of Fake News Awards would fit the b ..."

Lurking Cynic: "LLC - You are not highjacking a damn thing. The wh ..."

Michael the Texan [/i][/b][/s][/u]: "[i]354 Granny Clampet made a mean possum stew Pos ..."

Archer: "Northernlurker - I hope that in time the Lord will ..."

garrett: ">>It's been a while since I read the Journals of L ..."

Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet: "Nood - war ..."

kraken: "537 I apologize for highjacking this post but my w ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64