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June 23, 2006

Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

I think. I really have no idea what the hell it is.

It looks like something Jawas would rent for prom-night.

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows.

Hmmm... it's a tank, but there's no mention of weaponry, but they highlight its 400 watt sound system. Apparently the Badonkadonk's designers come from the Oddball school of tank armament.


Via the Plank.

A Bit Of Helpful Scaling... It carries a crew of five? Really? Where? Lashed to the sides?

My "jawa" theory just got stronger.

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE "USER REVIEWS"!!! Some real weisenheimers provide road-test reviews of the Badonkadonk (or "Donk").

I'll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I've purchased overpriced, so-called "battle tanks", then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made morter.

But not this baby, no way.

This tank R-O-C-K-S! Literally- the 400-watt sound-system keeps me rockin like a crazy man as I'm dishing out justice commando style. Wow. I just can't say enough. And the kids love it, too- imagine the look of terror in the eyes of the enemy as I'm dropping off my kid's team to their soccer game. Shock and awe, my friends, SHOCK AND AWE!

I had NAO install the optional GPS-guided white phosphorus missile system, and talk about *SWEET*! Burn baby burn!!!

Oh, it also has plenty of room for groceries, and if you need to like move a loveseat or something it'll fit if you use a little bungee cord.

The only real negative with this tank is that it shows up on radar a little more than I like (although there is a polyresin graphite stealth model available). Also, the included spare isn't full size.

Overall, a great tank.

I also found this review helpful:

Think you can handle this Badonkadonk, donk?

I honestly weighed the pros and cons before investing in the JL421 and despite negative reviews, I still purchased it. I was appalled to discover it to be the worst purchase I have ever made apart from Janet Jackson's last CD, which incidentally I used to scrape the plaque off of my enormous teeth.

Having teeth the size and weight of a normal human child, I have handicapped needs and the JL421 has absolutely no wheelchair accessibility. I have tried everything from ropes to catapults and I simply cannot get into the blasted thing without the help of my older sister, who has had a thyroid problem ever since Chernobyl... coupled with the fact that she's 65, smokes, just had a child, and drinks fluoride like it was Mountain Dew, you could say she has a bit of a problem.

However, once behind the wheel, I found that the 8,392,329,102 knobs and levers were too many to choose from and ended up shaving my back, watching Sanford and Son, sending a torpedo into my living room, and causing World War III by inadvertently causing the stock market to crash, resulting in a riot of over seven thousand angry brokers... everything but actually STARTING the vehicle.


digg this
posted by Ace at 04:26 PM

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