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May 24, 2006

Handicapping American Idol

Crossblog nails it:

Taylor was definitely the better singer, but I think his decision to not be a hot girl will cost him votes.

More interesting than whether off-key Kate or Taylor Frankenstein will win is the fact that these guys:

...won some kind of European pop music contest.

“We are meat eaters in a vegetarian café” singer Mr. Lordi said on how it feels to be in Eurovision.

It's time for Rolling Stone to start including GWAR on their weekly lists of the 100 most influential bands of all time. I'm not saying GWAR should beat the Beatles, Led Zep, AC/DC, the Sex Pistols, or Cream; I'm just saying they should clock in somewhere ahead of The Doors and The Eagles.

Gib says your life will be better if you follow his link and watch the video for Hard Rock Hallelujah, and I can't imagine how that could fail to be sound advice.

You'll want to go to Multimedia Lounge, then Video, then look for Finland/Lordi and click on that.

Liveblogging the Lordi Video:

Okay, sorta-cute Goth chick in high school. Not a bad start.

Now there's some cheerleaders. They're eh-cute, but they're cheeleaders, so that's okay too.

Now "Lordi" makes its entry after darkness and lightning.

The cheerleaders all fall to the floor, apparently dead, killed by the super-intense hard-core sound of Lordi. The Goth chick is apparently immune, because she has the name "Lordi" written on her notebook, which is, I guess, a magical charm against Lordi's satanic music.

The song is about as bad-ass as something from Kip Winger. They're about as Satanic as Rico Suave. What is wrong with Europeans? You expect these guys to be dark death-metal, and instead they're trying to be a sunnier, poppier version of Def Leppard.

Now the cheerleaders arise from the dead, animated, I guess, by Lordi's very cheesey keyboards, and look like zombies fresh from the grave. But still kinda hot, because they're in their cheerleader outfits.

Now the Goth chick leads the Zombie Cheerleaders down the halls of the high-school, striking terror into her non-undead schoolmates as she pumps her fist into the air indifferently to Lordi's not-particularly-driving backbeat.

End of video.

Gib, you f'n' lied to me. My life has not improved one iota. In fact, in many ways, it's now worse than ever.


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posted by Ace at 02:27 PM

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