Sponsored Content
« Liberal Columnist Richard Cohen Notes Left's Inconsistency On Iraq and Dafur | Main | AP, Reuters Split On Hamas/Fatah Clash »
May 24, 2006

Handicapping American Idol

Crossblog nails it:

Taylor was definitely the better singer, but I think his decision to not be a hot girl will cost him votes.

More interesting than whether off-key Kate or Taylor Frankenstein will win is the fact that these guys:

...won some kind of European pop music contest.

β€œWe are meat eaters in a vegetarian café” singer Mr. Lordi said on how it feels to be in Eurovision.

It's time for Rolling Stone to start including GWAR on their weekly lists of the 100 most influential bands of all time. I'm not saying GWAR should beat the Beatles, Led Zep, AC/DC, the Sex Pistols, or Cream; I'm just saying they should clock in somewhere ahead of The Doors and The Eagles.

Gib says your life will be better if you follow his link and watch the video for Hard Rock Hallelujah, and I can't imagine how that could fail to be sound advice.

You'll want to go to Multimedia Lounge, then Video, then look for Finland/Lordi and click on that.

Liveblogging the Lordi Video:

Okay, sorta-cute Goth chick in high school. Not a bad start.

Now there's some cheerleaders. They're eh-cute, but they're cheeleaders, so that's okay too.

Now "Lordi" makes its entry after darkness and lightning.

The cheerleaders all fall to the floor, apparently dead, killed by the super-intense hard-core sound of Lordi. The Goth chick is apparently immune, because she has the name "Lordi" written on her notebook, which is, I guess, a magical charm against Lordi's satanic music.

The song is about as bad-ass as something from Kip Winger. They're about as Satanic as Rico Suave. What is wrong with Europeans? You expect these guys to be dark death-metal, and instead they're trying to be a sunnier, poppier version of Def Leppard.

Now the cheerleaders arise from the dead, animated, I guess, by Lordi's very cheesey keyboards, and look like zombies fresh from the grave. But still kinda hot, because they're in their cheerleader outfits.

Now the Goth chick leads the Zombie Cheerleaders down the halls of the high-school, striking terror into her non-undead schoolmates as she pumps her fist into the air indifferently to Lordi's not-particularly-driving backbeat.

End of video.

Gib, you f'n' lied to me. My life has not improved one iota. In fact, in many ways, it's now worse than ever.

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:27 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Grouchy's Brother: "Nothing says "love is love" quite like bomb threat ..."

vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion: "167 Here ya go Cleanse thine ears youtu.be/6o ..."

Romeo13: "165 It also means you never have to say you're sor ..."

Eromero: "Now babyshark I've never heard. No problemo. ..."

Tonypete: "Thanks a lot. For years Love is a Battlefield was ..."

Eromero: "163 " I want to know what love is. Posted by: Dr. ..."

Wesley Crusher: "[i]Rodents of unusual size and strength. Posted b ..."

Tonypete: "It also means you never have to say you're sorry. ..."

Diogenes: " A many splendored thing. Posted by: Tuna at May ..."

vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion: "" I want to know what love is. Posted by: Dr. Var ..."

Kindltot: ""A bulldog eating mayonnaise" is not the correct ..."

Dr. Varno: "A many splendored thing. Posted by: Tuna at May 2 ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64