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April 26, 2006

Did I Mention That GDP Is Expected To Have Grown Nearly 5.0% Last Quarter?: A Mixed-Media Cowbell Extravaganza

I mentioned this pretty prominent, with boldfacing and all, earlier today. But only four people bothered to comment on the news.

Yesterday's news that consumer confidence was at a four-year high was similarly greeted with the yawns usually expected from Aaron Brown, or whoever Aaron Brown might be having sex with.

Meanwhile, of course, the Dow hit a six year high.

Why was this, I wondered? Then I remembered. You're all a bunch of drooling morons. If I don't include cute graphics and cowbell-themes, you just don't "get" basic economic news.

Pardon my oversight. Here, for the first time, the Golden Cowbell image with the Ace of Spades Cowbell Theme attached (click on it for song). [Song courtesy of Blaster's Blog.]

But maybe even that isn't sinking in to your thick, Cro-magnon moronskulls. So additional audio-visual cues of a slightly risque nature are provided after the jump.

Whitesnake album cover with Cowbell theme:

Hot big-booby Austrian gaming girl-geek, again with Cowbell theme:

And if that still isn't enough to penetrate your solid-bone cretinheads,
how about KIM RICHARDS from Tuff Turf with Cowbell theme?

Some here are Justine Bateman partisans, so, okay, here's Mallory Cheesecake, with Cowbell Theme:

And finally, if you low-functioning stupidheads don't get it YET, here's Johnny Coldcuts, the time-travelling foul-mouthed baloney sandwhich, trying to explain it to you:

Give the economy the props it deserves,
you rotten shitbag goatfuckers!

Mark it in your calenders: Dow Jones 11,000
by July, you dirty-asses!

Johnny Coldcuts doesn't like the Ace of Spades Cowbell theme, as it's "too pussyshit" for his tastes, so he suggests the Allah-produced Lionel Ritchie/Pat O'Brien duet of Hello to celebrate the good economic news.

(Note that that song is not safe for work, because Lionel Ritchie is really foul-mouthed.)

All right, all right... for the Ladies and/or Homos:

Okay, I know Jason Bateman might not be every one's cup of tea, but it was this or Chris Klein or Charles Nelson Reilly.

digg this
posted by Ace at 04:20 PM

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