Hee, hee, hee: Media Matters Subject To Complaints About Toilets | Main | Those Alterante Fuels We Hear So Much About
April 26, 2006

Police Hunt "Killer Chimps" Who Assaulted Taxi Cab

"I saaaaaaiiiid, we got motherf--king chimps on this motherfu--king taxi cab!"

ARMED Sierra Leonean police are hunting up to 20 chimpanzees which killed a local taxi driver and injured three American visitors after they broke out of a wildlife sanctuary.

The Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary in forested hills outside the Sierra Leonean capital Freetown, where the incident happened, has been closed since Sunday's attack by the screaming and excited apes, which mobbed and mauled the four men.

Liberals immediately reacted with horror to this clear-cut case of species profiling. A spokesman for the Southern Poverty Law Center stated that we need to examine the "root causes" of killer chimp behavior, such as poverty, a lack of education and job opportunities, and US support for Israel.

Thanks to yls.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:39 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Count de Monet: "Damn. Nolan Ryan's a fat, bald, old guy! Posted ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "Falling Down is a terrific movie. Great acting by ..."

Robin Ventura: "[i]Damn. Nolan Ryan's a fat, bald, old guy! Pos ..."

Duke of Righteous WTF?: "A movie with a hidden baseball theme is "Cannery R ..."

Anna Puma (HQCaR): "You have seen they have remade [i]Flatliners[/i], ..."

tcn in AK: "Yes, the damn Yankees must lose. And then the Astr ..."

mnw: "She looked damn good in Pretty Baby. Anybody who ..."

scrood: "Wait a minute.  When did Morons get picky abo ..."

Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac: "Not crazy about Sarandon, but she was smoking hot ..."

Deplorable Ian Galt, still loving the Cubs, trying not to jinx the Asstros: "One fascinating little documentary I saw on Netfli ..."

logprof: "576 Jacob's Ladder was really good, I agree. Incre ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "[i]And Mario van Peebles needed his screen-time cu ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64