Costner Jerked Off His Towel

...then performed a lewd act on himself. I'm not sure what the lewd act was; I imagine he put a hand under an armpit and started cranking out fart noises, which is a felony in Scotland.

Kevin Costner has been revealed as the celebrity accused of performing a sex act while having a massage at a prestigious hotel in Scotland, after a tribunal ruled there was not a strong enough reason to keep his name suppressed.

The Hollywood star was accused of taking off his towel during the massage at The Old Course Hotel in St Andrews, Fife, in October 2004, exposing himself and then performing a sex act.

An earlier legal ruling had prevented his identity being revealed, but the tribunal chairman Nicol Hosie ruled that following widespread newspaper and magazine reports outside Britain, as well as internet blogs, which alleged that Costner was the culprit, his name had already fully entered the public domain.

Here's the kicker:

...

The 51-year-old actor had been on honeymoon with his new wife in St Andrews when he went for the massage.

Wow. I'm not sure what to call that. Sheenesque, I guess.

posted by Ace at 11:07 AM

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