Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
MSM-Sponsored Blogger Has a Huge Internet Fan -- Himself, Posing Under Different Screen Names | Main | More Wilson-Bashing By Hitchens
April 20, 2006

A Grim Anniversary: Twenty-Seven Years Ago Today, Jimmy Carter Was Threatened By A Deadly Rabbit

I don't think we'll ever forget where we were when we first heard the news that a President had just barely survived a crazed lepine assassination attempt.

Today in Odd History, President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit during a fishing trip in Plains, Georgia. The rabbit, which may have been fleeing a predator, swam toward his boat, "hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared." President Carter was forced to swat at the vicious beast with a canoe paddle, which apparently scared it off.

Upon his return to the White House, Carter told his staff about the furry amphibian's assault. Most of them refused to believe him, insisting that rabbits can't swim (although since most mammals can swim, there's no reason to believe that rabbits cannot), and that even if they could, they certainly wouldn't attack humans, and certainly not presidents. Fortunately, a White House photographer had been on the scene, and had recorded the bizarre attack. The photograph showed Carter with his paddle raised, warding off a small creature which might, or might not, have been a rabbit. One staffer was quoted as saying, "You couldn't tell what it was." Undaunted by their skepticism, Carter had the image enlarged, and there it was--a killer bunny rabbit, apparently bent on assassinating the president.

It's the breathless, you-are-there style of this piece that really puts you in the middle of the action. I can almost see myself there, confronted by a swimming rabbit, fiendish nostrils a-flare, big teeth ready to nibble on your bum...

And I wonder, as men often do: Would I have risen to the occasion, like Jimmy Carter did? Or would I have cowered in the boat like a, umm, coward?

It's a question I'm glad I don't know the answer to.

Thanks to Allah.

Mistakes, Mistakes: Carter was already president in 1979. Duh, me.

"Lupine" means having to do with wolves, not rabbits. I meant "lepine," I guess, if that's a word, and even if it's not, it's the non-word I meant.

Thanks for proving that I'm such a moron, guys. I don't ever want to feel separated from my audience, as Dave Chapelle did.


digg this
posted by Ace at 12:42 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Insomniac : "Good morning, fappers! Damn, Allen, sorry to he ..."

Rear Adm. Timothy M. Giardina: "I was set up!  ? ..."

freaked: "We could deport and encourage self deportation if ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: "Hi Gingy. Belated Ccndolences on your loss. ..."

AllenG (DedicatedTenther) phone : "@199 Unfortunately, Tramadol is what was prescr ..."

freaked: "Thanks Kate. It will be on his AF Academy app. ..."

Yip: "Re: Mallory is Right ,   yeah the " we c ..."

CPT. Charles: "177 -- aussie -- 40C ??? I'll take winter thank yo ..."

NCKate: "Congrats, freaked. Eagle looks great on the colleg ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: ""Krebs our eldest had his Eagle CoH last night. Mr ..."

Lost Tom Servo: "Any members of the Group or if anyone know AllenG ..."

Laurie David's Cervix: "Rear Adm. Timothy M. Giardina fired last year as N ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64