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April 20, 2006

Scary, Scary Jihadist Training Video

Did I say scary? I meant hilarious.

"I swear to Allah, I will kill the infidel, by throwing hand grenades like a girl and mincing about with my AK-47 like Peter Allen doing a Che-Guevera-themed musical production number."

Thanks to Mike.

Further evidence that many of those most delighted by he idea of violence against their enemies are f'n' wussy losers who just got their asses beaten too many times in junior high and are looking for some payback.

Fortunately, most of them haven't experienced a significant sharpening of their combat skills in the intervening years.

Why can't these maladjusted dickweeds just play Dungeons & Dragons like a normal queerbait? Arms are made for lugging around dicebags and the Fiend Folio, you know.

The Islamist world needs to do one of two things:

1) Get bent, and, like, fast;

or, if that proves to be impossible, as I imagine it will be for most of these "brave warriors:"

2) Start rolling up a character. Hell, because you're newbies, we'll let you start out with two 18's, a +3 weapon of your choice, and old-school psionics (all attack and defense modes, of course).

If defusing the Muslim impulse for mass-murder means we have to run a "Monty Haul" campaign featuring more "roll-playing" than "role-playing," well, we'll just have to hold our noses and do some munchkin power-game DMing for these chumps.

It's a sacrifice, but one we should all be willing to make.

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posted by Ace at 12:20 PM

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