Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Bloggers/Blog Commenters Have "Disproportionately Large Effect" On Public Opinion | Main | Funny Old Links From Temple Of Jennifer
April 19, 2006

George Michael More Interested In Smoking Pot Than Producing Bouncilly Gay Disco Singles

Another reason to decriminalize pot.

Is there any way we can get Madonna off of Kaballa and on to weed?

GEORGE Michael's career has gone up in smoke because he would rather puff joints than record new songs, a former musician pal claimed yesterday.

I think they're confusing correlation with causation here. I imagine he's smoking pot because no one listens to his music anymore.

I mean, for crying out loud, he has to wait on hold to get Moby on the line. How the flighty have fallen.

Toby Bourke, who dueted with George on the 1997 single Waltz Away Dreaming, claimed: "Drugs have turned him into a stoned waster and made him depressed. Dope is his poison."

Toby, who says he watched George chain-smoke 20 super-strength skunk joints a day, added: "Dope destroyed his will to work. When you smoke as much as George has done you simply cease to function. Cannabis has wrecked his career. All that dope put paid to it."

George, 42, has not released an album since Patience in March 2004. And he has not done a world tour for 15 years, although one is said to be in the pipeline.

But Toby said: "I don't think you'll see much more work from him. He is basically lazy - and it is all the cannabis he's smoked that has made him like that."

Top Ten [Reposted] Signs That You, George Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up

10. London tabloids keep referring to you as "The Artist Formerly Known as George Michael"

9. You begin wondering how the dickens Elton John manages to keep that youthful, slender figure of his

8. You pull the old "Do you know who I am?" trick to get a table at Nobu, but are heartbroken when the maitre d' incorrectly identifies you as his high-school driver's ed teacher, "Mr. Gurks"

7. You've sunk so low you're now taking Margaret Cho's phone-calls; you spend all night with her gabbing about Will & Grace and eating Haagen-Dasz

6. Your last record just went Triple Gypsum

5. You've begun saying all those things you once detested older singers for saying, like "the industry has changed" and "kids today don't know what good music is" and "when I move, I slice like a fucking hammer"

4. You now not only share a name with the host of George Michael's Sports Machine, you also share his urologist

3. April 18, 1986: you cashed in on your success to sign a multimillion-dollar deal with Sony Records;
April 18, 2006: you cashed in a frequent-buyer's card at Subway, getting that free three-cheese hoagie you've had your eye on

2. You just can't get arrested in Hollywood anymore, not even in a men's bathroom

...and the Number One Sign You Should Probably Just Give It Up...

1. You're actually excited to get a call from VH-1's Behind the Music, but your heart sinks when you find out they've just confused you with the guy from Tears for Fears

digg this
posted by Ace at 01:42 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Hans und Franz[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "[i]SNL hasn't been funny since the late 1970s. The ..."

Our Country is Screwed: "Magill's resignation has also triggered a response ..."

Archimedes: "I'm always reluctant to increase governmental powe ..."

TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures: "88 she is definitely a fighter. I just don't see h ..."

MBunge: "I don't understand why Ace struggles to understand ..."

BignJames: "Cut off all [s]federal research[/s] dollars and th ..."

Bete: "$5 says Gay easily survives that, that she won't r ..."

Archer: "History rhymes again. The Nazis found many kindre ..."

Divide by Zero [/i]: " Biden in Philly again today for some stupid reas ..."

ace: "magill actually keeps her job as professor of bull ..."

jim (in Kalifornia): "67 >35 Magill's resignation has also triggered a r ..."

I forgot my name b/c I haven't posted in 6 months: "It is possible to argue two things at once: 1) ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64