Ace of Spades HQ

« Ugghhh... The Politics Of Vileness | Main | Major Yale Taliban Update: "We Ain't Letting Him In As A Full Student" »

April 18, 2006

Tom Cruise: I Must Eat My Child's Afterbirth

Authorities were unsure whether or not to categorize this as cannibalism or merely "a desperate cry for help."

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to consume the placenta of your child. Your tenuous grip on sanity will self-desctruct five seconds afterwards.

TOM Cruise yesterday revealed his latest bizarre mission... to eat his new baby's placenta.
Cruise vowed he would tuck in straight after girlfriend Katie Holmes gives birth, saying he thought it would be "very nutritious".

The Mission Impossible star, 43, said: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there." It is the latest in a series of increasingly strange outbursts from Cruise in the run-up to the birth.

He has claimed the baby, due any day, will be delivered in total silence.

The Top Gun star also insisted he "sensed" fiancÅ½e Katie was pregnant before she told him.

And he has blurted out details of the couple's sex life, saying: "It's spectacular."

The actor, who recently also claimed he has the power to cure drug addicts, has even been carrying out his own medical scans on the foetus after buying himself an ultrasound machine.

In related news, LaToya Jackson remarked, "Okay, maybe my dad's constant intimadation and abuse of me wasn't so bad after all."

Thanks to John From Wuzzadem, who has a suitably disturbing photoshop and a similar story about David "Grasshopper" Carradine.

Also thanks to Red State Rant.

posted by Ace at 11:02 AM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Daily Tech News 20 May 2025 Monday Overnight Open Thread - May 19, 2025 [Doof] Fingerdance Cafe Quick Hits Surprise: Harvard Continues Practicing Illegal Racial Discrimination Against Whites; When Called Out for Their Website Advising Administrators About How to Discriminate Against Whites, They Delete That Page But Keep the Policy America Is Dividing Into Red and Blue Economic Blocs, and Red America Is Winning Supreme Court Overrules District Court Judge Who Issued a (What Else?) Nationwide Injunction Against Deporting Venezuelans, Cubans, Hatians, and Nicaraugans The Audacity: New York Times Says That Hur Tapes Reveal What "Many Suspected" But Which Democrats -- Just Democrats, Not Their Media Enablers -- Denied Oncologists Say There's No Way Biden Just Developed His Stage IV Cancer In the Past Few Months Kash Patel and Dan Bongino: Jeffrey Epstein Did, In Fact, Kill Himself Absent Friends Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2025: 06/21/2025 Arlington, VA Contact Weasel and Bluebell for info Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Ugghhh... The Politics Of Vileness \| Main \| Major Yale Taliban Update: "We Ain't Letting Him In As A Full Student" » April 18, 2006 Tom Cruise: I Must Eat My Child's Afterbirth No, seriously. Seriously. Authorities were unsure whether or not to categorize this as cannibalism or merely "a desperate cry for help." Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to consume the placenta of your child. Your tenuous grip on sanity will self-desctruct five seconds afterwards. TOM Cruise yesterday revealed his latest bizarre mission... to eat his new baby's placenta. Cruise vowed he would tuck in straight after girlfriend Katie Holmes gives birth, saying he thought it would be "very nutritious". The Mission Impossible star, 43, said: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there." It is the latest in a series of increasingly strange outbursts from Cruise in the run-up to the birth. He has claimed the baby, due any day, will be delivered in total silence. The Top Gun star also insisted he "sensed" fiancÅ½e Katie was pregnant before she told him. And he has blurted out details of the couple's sex life, saying: "It's spectacular." The actor, who recently also claimed he has the power to cure drug addicts, has even been carrying out his own medical scans on the foetus after buying himself an ultrasound machine. In related news, LaToya Jackson remarked, "Okay, maybe my dad's constant intimadation and abuse of me wasn't so bad after all." Thanks to John From Wuzzadem, who has a suitably disturbing photoshop and a similar story about David "Grasshopper" Carradine. Also thanks to Red State Rant. posted by Ace at 11:02 AM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "Evening, late toilers! Morning, insomaniacals! ..." Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "[i]35 This is one smug MFer: Ex-FBI Director Ja ..." m: "“I regret the distraction and the contr ..." m: "35 This is one smug MFer: Ex-FBI Director James ..." Don Black: "This is one smug MFer: Ex-FBI Director James C ..." Just Wondering : "Birdbath status? ..." FenelonSpoke: "I think I told you folks about this fellow I know ..." acjradio: "Appreciate this post. Will try it out. ..." m: "Howdy, G&R! ..." Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "Nice and cool this morning in Babylon DC. 57 degre ..." m: "yesterday's art thread: https://acecomments.mu. ..." m: "I highly recommend the comments in yesterday's art ..." Recent Entries Daily Tech News 20 May 2025 Monday Overnight Open Thread - May 19, 2025 [Doof] Fingerdance Cafe Quick Hits Surprise: Harvard Continues Practicing Illegal Racial Discrimination Against Whites; When Called Out for Their Website Advising Administrators About How to Discriminate Against Whites, They Delete That Page But Keep the Policy America Is Dividing Into Red and Blue Economic Blocs, and Red America Is Winning Supreme Court Overrules District Court Judge Who Issued a (What Else?) Nationwide Injunction Against Deporting Venezuelans, Cubans, Hatians, and Nicaraugans The Audacity: New York Times Says That Hur Tapes Reveal What "Many Suspected" But Which Democrats -- Just Democrats, Not Their Media Enablers -- Denied Oncologists Say There's No Way Biden Just Developed His Stage IV Cancer In the Past Few Months Kash Patel and Dan Bongino: Jeffrey Epstein Did, In Fact, Kill Himself Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64