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April 14, 2006
Man Kills Girlfriend Because She Refused To Make Him Sandwiches
Not even make sandwhiches, really. They were already made. She refused to heat them up for him in the microwave. So he grabbed the microwave oven, threw it at her, and beat her to death.
After throwing her to the floor, Fordyce threw a microwave oven onto McCann's chest after she refused to heat up sandwiches for him, he told police. Fordyce also said he stomped on McCann's chest repeatedly then banged her head on the floor until she lost consciousness — but that he also said he didn't mean to kill her, police said.
"It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose," police quoted Fordyce as saying.
As Chris Rock said of O.J. Simpson, "I'm not saying he should have killed her. I'm just sayin' -- I understand."
Umm, no really, I don't, and neither did he. It's black humor. Don't file sexual harrassment charges against me.
Wait, did I say black humor? Well, yeah, it's black humor, as I was quoting Chris Rock, but I meant it in the sense of gallows humor. Please don't file hate-crime charges against me.