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March 31, 2006

That Didn't Take Long: Cynthia "Slappy" McKinney Says Her Only Crime Was "Being In Congress While Black"

Nice!

I'm glad when I don't have to wait around for crap like this. Instant gratification and all.

I happen to have an exclusive-- the actual charges to be filed against Cynthia McKinney.


COUNT ONE: "Being in Congress while black" (CLASS A FELONY)

COUNT TWO: Driving Under the Influence of Barry White (CLASS B MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT THREE: Reckless uppitiness (CLASS A MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT FOUR: Aggravated Sass in the second degree (CLASS A MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT FIVE: Refusing to yield to The Man when he demands you shuck and jive for him (CLASS C FELONY)

COUNT SIX: Carrying Soul Without a Permit (CLASS B MISDEMEANOR)

COUNT SEVEN: Possession of TRUTH! with intent to distribute (CLASS A FELONY)


In related news, O.J. Simpson says, "Word. All I was guilty of was sawing off two people's heads while black. They let white people do that all the time. I hear that Gary Busey has an entire basement filled with hitchhikers' severed genitals. But when a black man butchers a couple of people they make a big deal out of it, like it's a crime or something."


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posted by Ace at 05:00 PM

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