Transcript Of Audience Reactions To A Will Durst Comedy Extravaganza

A secret source just sent me an audio file in which Will Durst's jokes have been digitially masked, so you can hear only the sounds of the audience response. I have transcribed the sounds and overheard snippets of dialogue as faithfully as possible.

...

[man clears throat uncomfortably]

...

[half-hearted clapping to indicate the audience agrees with what Will Durst just said; however, no sounds of actual laughter]

...

[one woman offers a "charity laugh," realizes she's laid it on too thick, and then says "I'm sorry" in a whisper]

...

[crickets chirp]

...

[a confused older woman asks her husband, "What the hell is this?"]

...

[the confused older woman now asks, "Is this Retard Night? Did we come to the club on Retard Night?"]

[(inaudible reply from husband)]

[old woman now says: "Oh, it is Retard Night? Okay. I understand now. He's pretty good for a retard. I guess.]

...

[young woman's voice: "For this I missed Blow Out and Queer Eye?]

...

[crickets stop chirping, and now simply shift uncomfortably in their seats. One cricket begins playing with his cell-phone, looking for cool new ring-tones.]

...

[a cricket is heard asking a waitress, "If we leave early, do you still validate parking?"]

[End transcript.]

posted by Ace at 04:12 PM

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