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March 16, 2006

Comedian Will Durst: Impale Bush

After a long, long list of insulting words, which is supposed to be funny, but isn't:

Impeachment, hell no. Impalement. Upon the sharp and righteous sword of the people's justice.

I guess I have only one question:

Who are you again?

PS, bad news: The Giggle Factory in Poughkipsee wanted me to let you know, they're sorry, but they just got a late-minute confirmation from "Slappy" Hirshbaum, and so you're being bumped from tonight's line-up.

I mean, you can hardly blame them. "Slappy" Hirshbaum. Gold standard. The man's a living legend in the Northern New York suburban comedy scene. He's forgotten more Olive Garden jokes than Paul Provenza ever knew.

When "Slappy" Hirshbaum calls up and says he's got a half-hour to do a set, you only ask two questions: What time does he want to go on, and how do we get out of paying Will Durst?

Thanks to Allah, still guest posting over at Alarming News.

The Most Important Comedic Voice Since Lenny Bruce Update: I apologize for suggesting, however subtly, that Will Durst is a no-talent nobody who bottom-feeds on the second-rate muck of the low-rent lowest-rungs of the ninth circle of bad comedy Hell.

The Comish (sic) sets me straight. The guy is an undisputed comedic genius:

Ace, you could learn a lot from this guy. For example, here's one of his jokes:

"Bush is like if Reagan and Quayle had a kid. He's Quagan."

See what he did there? He combined the names of two conservatives. To make one name. One name that we've probably never heard before, so it sounds downright silly. That's humor, Ace.

That's funny. That's Hee-Haw funny.

I've got one. Will Durst is like if a no-account no-talent no-name nobody and a cancerous asshole had a kid. He's a no-account no-talent no-name nobody cancerous asshole.

Pretty good. It's a wonderment to me that this guy isn't headlining in the big Vegas rooms already. What is he, ninety? He should have been huge back when he was a spry seventy-year-old, just starting to make a name for himself.

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posted by Ace at 03:13 PM

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