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March 16, 2006

Madonna's Post: Bush's Iraq War? I Could Just Plotz

-- by Madonna

Ignore that "By Ace" above. I've cleared this all with her PR people.

Shalom, Bubes!

I'm taking a break from my busy schedule -- my Kabballah studies, consulting with my personal Rabbis, and looking for a home in Israel -- to write what a schandeh this whole Iraq War is. It is beyond me how this privileged, pampered nishtikeit ganef became our "President" in the first place.

In 2004 we were presented a choice-- the mitzvah of President John Kerry, or the charpeh of four more years of Bush. What, for this I slaved away writing children's books? So Mr. Big-Shot could declare unilateral war on peaceful tyrants? No, no, don't worry about me. I guess I matter so bisheleh I should just curl up and die, that's all.

I am so, so proud of George Clooney for having the baitsim to allow his PR people to okay a post actually written by Arianna Huffington. Denken Got! What an choshever mentsh his PR guy was. He stands in stark contrast to the eizel un chutzpenik supposedly running our government.

Oy vez mir, Er iz a niderrechtiker kerl! Es brent mir ahfen hartz!

Well, bubes, I must run. I am working out how to incorporate various Jewish symbols into my upcoming Shiksa Ambition tour. I'm having difficulty with the last part of my act, before the encore; sure, I can eject a dreidl from my k'nish, but I can't seem to get it to spin. Perhaps some more intervaginal yoga exercises will do the trick.

Gai gezunterhait!

(My actual confirmation name, by the way)

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posted by Ace at 01:20 PM

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