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March 06, 2006

Clay Aiken Sued For Not Being "Straight" With Fans

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Are eleven-year-old retards even permitted to file suit in federal court?

With his goofy smile, boyish charm, dulcet tones and strongly espoused Christian beliefs, Clay Aiken has won legions of female fans and sold millions of records since starring in the 2003 series of American Idol.

But now a group of disillusioned "Claymates" have lodged a complaint with the US Federal Trade Commission after a less straightforward version of Aiken emerged in the tabloid press.

The nine women claim that his record company, RCA, and its parent group, Sony/BMG, duped them with their marketing and promotional campaigns into buying the 27-year-old's music and merchandise.

The former fans said that they were also considering a class-action lawsuit for damages.

The precedent-setting case will be watched with concern by other entertainers whose squeaky-clean public personas do not always match the reality of their private lives.

No, it will not be "watched with concern," because it's just idiotic. I can't imagine that our very permissive judges -- who used to toss out baseless lawsuits as a matter of habit; now they're inclined to let them proceed to see if the complaintants can develop any evidence or any possible legal theory of a wrong sometime over a 2 year period of intrusive discovery -- will let this silly shit fly.

Plus, it's attacking a gay guy, which they don't like.

How moronic.

Guys? His music always sucked. If you want to file suit, file suit against your parents, schools, and local cultures for allowing you to grow up with such a woefully underdeveloped sense of taste.

Thanks to cutaway.

Background (NSFW): The guy who claims to have had sex with Clay Aiken was interviewed on Howard Stern a few weeks ago.

Not safe for work, and a little boring, to tell you the truth. I'll spill the best joke past the jump. The joke isn't safe for work, either.

So the guy is recounting how Clay Aiken wanted to "fist" him. The innocent can imagine what that means.

Howard Stern keeps asking why he's so angry at Clay Aiken that he would damage his professional standing with such graphic and distasteful revelations. The guy hems and haws about why he's angry at Clay.

Nick DiPaolo, sitting in on the show, answers: "Didn't you hear him? Aiken stuck his fist up his ass. How would you feel?"

Apart from that, it's the typical Stern let-me-drag-this-out-for-an-hour interview, with lots of questions about the size of Clay Aiken's penis.

(The guy won't answer, saying he doesn't want to "disappoint" fans, implying it's small. Nick DiPaolo again chimes in, "I can understand that. Finding that out about Clay Aiken, I'm devastated. I'm not sure how I'll go on.")

Thanks to Steve.

If you want to listen, do so at home, and be ready for a lot of time-wasting.

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posted by Ace at 04:10 PM

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