Porn Addict: Ladies, Look Like Pornstars Or You'll Die Alone

The guy has some issues, and plenty of tissues.

Just to settle down all the womenfolk: Not true. It's an interesting catch by Dave, and certainly does represent part of the male population who is addicted to rating Victoria's Secret models and Swimsuit edition neophytes, but by and large -- relax. Grossly overstated in both intensity and scope of the problem.

My best guess is that while some guys do have impossible standards (in college we called them "virgins"), guys who write like this -- under the guise of trying to "help" women -- are just lashing out at them in a passive-aggressive way. They despise women, hate the fact they can't land the women they think they're entitled to, and so they attack women generally at being far beneath their standards. A couple of 10's they know make them feel inadequate and unwanted and, unable to hit back at those women directly (who are scarcely aware these guys even exist), they attempt to inflict the same feelings of insecurity and undesirability on women generally.*

On the other hand, I know that Dominic Dunne has written about men now expecting porn-actress behavior from women. But that's a different story. A happy story, as it turns out.

Via Ari Goes Down.

* Which isn't to say that looks don't count, of course. Of course they do.

Further Thoughts...

It seems that these sorts of posts and articles (see Allah's articles in the first comment) tend to be written with the slant "What the hell is wrong with men."

I'm guessing the problem cuts across both sexes, fairly equally.

Take Maureen Dowd. Now, I don't think she's all that (please let's not argue about it again), but plainly she's somewhat attractive, pretty rich, and accomplished, if you want to call her undeserved notoriety by that term. And yet she's famously unmarried and bothered by it.

Are her standards also too high? Is she essentially commoditizing the idea of love, looking for a super-catch that will elevate her social standing, rather than someone who simply pleases her?

A lot of people who are perennially unattached may simply always be looking for someone out of their league. A nice way to say it is that they are romantic idealists who will not compromise for companionship, who want the thunderbolts and unicorn rides of true love. A less charitable way to say it is that they have a skewed idea of their own attractiveness (in all its varieties) and this causes them to incorrectly identify the pool of potential mates they should be targeting.

And, as far as Maureen Dowd -- poets don't write about it much, and it's not a sexy sort of line for a love song -- but there's always the question of personality. Looks may get you dates, but personality gets you relationships. After the initial flood of hormones is gone, and you've pretty much exhausted all the permissible sexual variations, what's left is basically personality, and the decidedly non-sexy attributes of kindness, consideration, temperament, politeness, trustworthiness, fidelity, etc.

If Maureen Dowd can't land a man, I think we might have to consider -- consider -- the possibility that she's a real asshole.

As Howard Stern has said, no matter how hot the chick (or guy), there are at least three or four people who dumped that person, deciding they were just sick of the bullshit. Or, as he put it (closer to the quote), "No matter how smokin' hot the chick, there's a guy out there who got tired of f***ing her."

Anyway. Didn't mean to turn this into Dr. Phil.

posted by Ace at 02:20 PM

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