Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
Terrorist Stronghold Retaken | Main | Study: Sexual harassment At U.S. colleges.
January 23, 2006

Claim: Wal-Mart Can Make You Impotent

They've tried everything else, why not this one?:

Concerns also have been raised about noise and light pollution [from a proposed and challenged new Wal-Mart Super Store], including a much-discussed claim by Washington State University Professor James Krueger on Jan. 13 that light pollution could cause Pullman men to become impotent. He based the claim on research involving deer.

Well, there's your problem with this study right there. The research involved deer. Of course this research showed male impotency. Who the hell wants to fuck a deer? I mean, yeah, okay, I'll admit it, I had a crush on Bambi's girlfriend Felina as a kid (almost as big as a crush as I had on the Zsa Zsa Gabor mouse from The Rescuers), but I'm older now, and I just don't find animals arousing anymore.

Well, not as arousing. Zira from Planet of the Apes is always kind of cute. It always leads to the question: Would you rather have sex with a charming, intelligent ape-woman who was also a medical doctor, or a mute retard like Nova?

Of course the answer is the latter. I didn't say it was an interesting question. Just a question.

Sometimes there's just no good joke you can make, and you should probably just give up, rather than throwing a lot of lame crap at the wall. I know this in my head, but not in my heart.

Thanks to RLW.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:17 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Ricardo Kill: "MH, you around? ..."

qdpsteve: "Farmer, I posted a link to some pics of Jennifer L ..."

logprof: "350 What, no love for my kilt pics?! Am I the only ..."

Farmer: "Dude....who's Jennifer around your place?!?!? Pos ..."

logprof: "355 --But will Tina Turner be re-animated for it? ..."

nerdygirl: "306 Let me save you all some money. Don't go see " ..."

What's labia got to do with it?: "With Tina Turner, it would be set post-apocalips. ..."

Tina Turner: "--But will Tina Turner be re-animated for it? I ..."

qdpsteve: "Max Max? Mad Max. Geez, my keyboard hands have min ..."

Ricardo Kill: "Hasta, Farmer...... ..."

Moochzilla: "346 MH, yep, looks like no Mel. Here's the info. ..."

qdpsteve: "logprof: LOL re Tina. And bebe's: yeah, I smell ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64