"Allah of Spades" | Main | Pat Roberston Update
January 05, 2006

Q: Why Does God Let People Get Horrible Diseases?
A: He Doesn't Let Them Get Diseases, He Causes Them, Because He Gets Very Peeved Sometimes

So says Professional Embarrassment to Republicans Pat Robertson.

Using his scary-impressive powers to read the Mind of God Himself, he speculates God caused Sharon's stroke as punishment for Sharon's decision to pull back from some Palestinian lands.

When he's not figuring out the All Mighty's Crippling Illness Causation Schedule, he can be found working dilligently in the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, splitting atoms.

With his mind.

I'm tired and I can't come up with a different joke.

Sharon's Brain Badly Damaged: Hospital Source-- Won't be long now.

And Al Jazeera is reporting rumors he's already died.

St. Sullivan of the Sacred "Heart-Ache" Weighs In: You will be surprised to learn he's made a hyperemotional comparison of Robertson to Iran's Ahmadnejean, stating that "the difference" between them -- the difference, singular -- is that Karl Rove only has one on his speed-dial.

Last time I checked, only one of them was building nuclear missiles. So, you know, there's another difference.

As Allah says, only St. Sullivan could aim for a target as fat as Robertson and still manage to miss.

St. Sullivan has always been a leftist at heart, not just in his politics -- there he's just liberal -- but in his sense of politics, his style of waging it. Like many leftists, he simply is incapable of distinguishing between domestic political opponents or rivals from foreign military threats and enemies. The language of war is used for both.

What's the difference between Andrew Sullivan and Joe Stalin? Only one of them will never shut the fuck up about his beagles and bronchitis.

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posted by Ace at 05:32 PM

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