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January 04, 2006

David Letterman Defends Cindy Sheehan, Knocks Bush's Faulty Intelligence On WMDs

...while engaging in apologetics for Clinton's similarly faulty intelligence.

More here, including link to a short video clip.

Letterman: “See, I’m very concerned about people like yourself who don’t have nothing but endless sympathy for a woman like Cindy Sheehan. Honest to Christ.” [audience applause]

O’Reilly: “No, I’m sorry.”

Letterman: “Honest to Christ.”

“O’Reilly: “No way. [waits for applause to die down] No way you’re going to get me, no way that a terrorist who blows up women and children.”

Letterman: “Do you have children?”

O’Reilly: “Yes I do. I have a son the same age as yours. No way a terrorist who blows up women and children is going to be called a ‘freedom fighter’ on my program.” [mild audience applause]

Letterman: “I’m not smart enough to debate you point to point on this, but I have the feeling, I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap. [audience laughter] But I don’t know that for a fact. [more audience applause]

My friend Steve actually was in an argument with a college hippychick one time, and she said, "Well, I may not know all the (finger quotes) 'facts' but I just feel that..." At least she was 19 and not 87, or however old Letterman is.

Repost time (sorry, but he's a dick and I hate him):

Top Ten Signs That David Letterman's Just Killing Time Before Retirement

10. Recent Stupid Pet Tricks include "Sit," "Shake hands," and "Hump the Leg"

9. Has become so jaded he demands that at least one guest per show get up on his desk and perform a striptease; last week's show with Nathan Lane was particularly uncomfortable

8. Old Letterman comedy staple: puckish irony; New Letterman comedy staple: nonstop racial slurs

7. To amuse himself during interviews, has begun playing drinking games; drinks when someone calls a director "generous," chugs when someone says "This script really spoke to me"

6. Wardrobe for show has degenerated into nothing but baggy sweatpants and "Who Farted?" T-shirts

5. Features a new twenty-minute segment in middle of every show called "Dave's Quiet Time," in which audience members are asked to "pursue independent reading" or "engage in quiet group-study"

4. Questions to celebrity guests sound suspiciously similar to clues to the day's New York Times crossword puzzle

3. Last Thursday's "show" was nothing but a taped teleconference with his tax lawyers, interspersed with "wacky" sound effects and still photos of Larry "Bud" Melman

2. Standard end-of-show sign-off, "You've been great! Drive safely!" replaced with ominous-sounding "Another hour nearer the sweet embrace of blissful death"

... and the Number One Sign That David Letterman's Just Killing Time Before Retirement...

1. He's "really looking forward to" his next-scheduled bout of pink-eye


Forget it, Dave. Jon Stewart may not be very funny, but no one's paying attention to you anymore, and emulating his lefty politics aren't going to make you must-watch TV again.


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posted by Ace at 01:43 AM

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