Times UK Headline: Today's Joseph and Mary would face 15 checkpoints | Main | New Weapon In War on Terror: GIANT MUTANT MECHA-WASPS!!!
December 27, 2005

Study To Answer Ultimate Question of Existence: "Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat?"

Just what the headline says.

This is all part of the Information Age's core mission-- to leave couples with nothing at all to talk about together. The next study will answer men's favorite question: "Did you, you know, have an orgasm? Seriously. You can tell me the truth. A little one? Really, or are you just being nice? Because halfway through that I could have sworn you whispered something in my ear that sounded like you were asking for help with a crossword-puzzle clue. Scraps of meat are always 'orts,' honey. Now seriously-- did you? I thought you got a little excited right before you started doing today's Jumble."

I'd give a hat-tip to the guy who sent me this, but it's getting embarassing.

Correction: Originally I wrote "computer program" rather than "study." The headline of the actual story mentions a computer, but then it isn't mentioned again. I suppose computers are involved only in the database. So, alas, there's no computer program that can definitively answer this question.


digg this
posted by Ace at 04:02 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Sebastion Melmoth : "Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 20 ..."

Minnfidel: "What makes it better than the $200 rod? ( continui ..."

grammie winger - God Loves You, Don't Be Stupid,: "That's Johnny Weir Posted by: fixerupper at Fe ..."

Hands: "[i] Who's this lady announcer with Scot Hamilton? ..."

Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars ™ [/b][/i][/s][/u]: "[i] LeBron James: I Mean Too Much To Society To N ..."

gNewt: "Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this? Are y ..."

Concerned Peoples Front : "The 2nd Amendment had zilch to do with hunting. ..."

DeploraBOT: "http://bit.ly/2FjMdig ---------- BIZARRE VIDEO: ..."

DR.WTF?: "That's Johnny Weir Posted by: fixerupper at Febru ..."

Cloyd Freud, Unemployed: "What makes it better than the $200 rod? ( continui ..."

grammie winger - God Loves You, Don't Be Stupid,: "Roads are flooded and impassible.  Rev is out ..."

ThePrimordialOrderedPair: "[i]What makes it better than the $200 rod? ( conti ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64