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December 27, 2005
Study To Answer Ultimate Question of Existence: "Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat?"
Just what the headline says.
This is all part of the Information Age's core mission-- to leave couples with nothing at all to talk about together. The next study will answer men's favorite question: "Did you, you know, have an orgasm? Seriously. You can tell me the truth. A little one? Really, or are you just being nice? Because halfway through that I could have sworn you whispered something in my ear that sounded like you were asking for help with a crossword-puzzle clue. Scraps of meat are always 'orts,' honey. Now seriously-- did you? I thought you got a little excited right before you started doing today's Jumble."
I'd give a hat-tip to the guy who sent me this, but it's getting embarassing.
Correction: Originally I wrote "computer program" rather than "study." The headline of the actual story mentions a computer, but then it isn't mentioned again. I suppose computers are involved only in the database. So, alas, there's no computer program that can definitively answer this question.