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First, Kill Some Of The Lawyers | Main | Mobile Strip Club
November 28, 2005

Google-Whoring Mad Libs

Cinderella

Once upon a time there lived a sad little girl named Tara Reid Nipple Slip. She lived in a great old castle with her Stepmother and her two step-sisters, Terrell Owens and Anna_Kournikova_Bends_Over_To_Tie_Her_Shoes.jpg.

The Prince, who was very Kevin Federlane Is A Worthless Douche-Nozzle, sent out word throughout the land that he intended to marry, and that he would select his bride from all of the Naked Field Hockey Bulldykes In Heat who attended his ball.

But Tara Reid Nipple Slip's wicked Stepmother would not let her attend the Free Penis Enlargement Hypnotherapy. Instead, she made poor Tara Reid Nipple Slip clean all of the chimneys of ash and soot and Jude Law Naked Dick-Pics.

She was cursing her fate when suddenly her fairy godmother appeared, dressed in shimmering Secrets From the New Harry Potter Book. The fairy godmother turned a pumpkin into Tom Sizemore Sex Tapes and her mice into The Hot Russian Fake Lesbians From "Tatu."

Her stepsisters were shocked to see Tara Reid Nipple Slip looking so resplendant at the ball, and the Prince was taken with her as well. But as he was about to propose, Tara Reid Nipple Slip had to rush back to her Paris Hilton Cellphone before midnight, as at that time the magic would be undone and once again she would turn into a plain, poorly dressed Ask Jeeves: Seriously, What's the Skinny on that Richard Gere/Gerbil Story?

She was in such a hurry to leave she left behind one of the shoes her fairy godmother had conjured for her, a beautiful bejeweled Bob Dole's Cock, which, frankly, really should have vanished at midnight along with the rest of the conjured crap, but this is a kid's story, and kids don't sweat massive plot-holes like that, because they're basically just little retards.

Anyway, the Prince searched for the one foot that would fit Bob Dole's Cock, and then found Tara Reid Nipple Slip at Free Metallica Dowloads. He placed Bob Dole's Cock on her Ashley Simpson Lip-Sync Video and found it was a perfect fit.

They soon married, and Tara Reid Nipple Slip was crowned Queen William Shatner Getting a Handjob From George Takei, and they all lived happily ever after.

Except for the wicked stepmother and stepsisters, of course, who wound up living poor and Half-Life 2 Walk-Thru and had to take jobs as College Schoolgirls Sharing Sexy Secrets About Their Dirty Stinky Feet.


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posted by Ace at 02:48 PM

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