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Big Fake News Brief From Iowahawk | Main | "The Gay Dan Rather"
September 08, 2005

Bush Let Hurricane Victims Die To Get Mortuary-Business Cronies More Corpses

It's all true. Well, not really, but what the hell.

It'll most likely be the top story on Keith ("Who?") Olbermann tonight.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again:

A buddy will help you move.

A best buddy will help you move a dead body.

But a Republican buddy will deliberately withhold aid to a major American city in a time of chaos and death in order to put a few shekels in your pocket for collecting and storing the thousands of dead.

We're thick as thieves, I tells ya.

We just "do shit" for each other all the time. And of course for money.

And killing thousands of people is no sweat to us. We kinda get off on mass-murder. As young whelps we get the taste for man-hunting by tracking and skinning railyard hobos.

By the time we're older and in positions of power, we can't maintain erections unless we've gotten our "murder on" within the past week or so. I start to feel a little "antsy," if you know what I mean, if I've gone ten days without strangling a sleeping homeless man.

Eh. What am I telling you guys for? You know. You know.

We're kind of like the vampire Lestat, only with wing-tips and power-ties.


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posted by Ace at 07:11 PM

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