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September 05, 2005

Bush I, Bush II, and Clinton Named As Accomplices In Murder Of John F. Kennedy Junior

Well, someone had to do it.

Still too early for that kind of joke? If so, I apologize.

Conspiracy-theorizing is a low-level, livable form of paranoid schizophrenia. Paranoid schizophrenics see "patterns" and "connections" everywhere; doing so helps them maintain a useful illusion in their own minds about an orderly universe, with Prime Actors so limited in number to be easily kept track of. True, it's a malign vision of the world, but they'd prefer their vision to be orderly, neat, and manageable than chaotic and messy (though more hopeful).

Conspiracy-theorizing is also a passive-aggressive form of self-aggrandisement bordering on narcissism or megalomania. With few exceptions, such as Noam Chomsky and Bobby Fischer, conspiracy theorists tend to be middling intellects whose fragile egos require the reassurance that they "know" things the general public doesn't, thus proving they're not so average-minded at all.

So, conspiracy-theorists, there you go: You are both borderline insane and borderline stupid. Enjoy.

There's a bit of arcane and occult truth that you might not enjoy so much.

PS: The crack about JFK Jr. was just black humor. I had nothing against the man, and I certainly feel the Kennedys have endured enough tragedy, whatever the sins of Teddy might be.

There Are Conservative Conspiracy Theorists Too, Of Course: I seem to remember some dark musings by goofball conservatives that Hillary somehow got into JFK Jr.'s plane with a wrench.

I think the best and purest conspiracy-theorists are the equal opportunity ones, though, like the guy linked above, who blames the Bushes and Clintons. They're the ones who "know" the real truth, that all the political jockeying between liberals and conservatives, Republicans and Democrats, is just an elaborate deception, designed to obscure the true loci and foci of power in the world, which is of course, depending on your theory, the Jews, the Merovignian Restorationists, the Knights Templar, the Trilateral Commissioners, the Free Masons, the Bavarian Illuminati, the Vatican Papists, AT&T, or some mix of of all of them.

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posted by Ace at 04:24 PM

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