Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















George Galloway Incites Muslim World Against West | Main | Bush's Approval Rating For Handling Iraq Drops to 38%, Lowest Yet
August 05, 2005

H.S. Coach (and Science Teacher) Reprimanded... For Licking Players' Bleeding Wounds

Two years' probation. For licking the bleeding wounds of minors. Repeatedly.

This science teacher will also have to attend classes on the dangers of blood-borne pathogens (and saliva-borne pathogens as well, I suppose).

Because, I guess, he's never heard of malaria. Or, you know, AIDS.

Several students say he was "just joking around."

Content Warning.


Like the other day I'm hanging out with my friend Stinky. We're both eating lunch at Starbucks, and are enjoying the budget-priced $18.00 eggplant panini.

He bends over to slip his laptop back into its case. I reach my hand up his shorts and begin fondling his dirty, sweaty balls.

He looks at me like I've got three heads.

"Dude," I say, "I'm sooo totally joking around."

"Oh," he chuckles, as I continue pumping his jockey-plums. "At first I didn't get it. Now I see it's kind of 'witty'."

"Totally," I say. "And later on I'm going to rape you with an avacado."

Again, the strange look.

"Joking!" I say again, and he laughs. I add, "But I really am going to rape you with an avacado."

"You're such a kidder," he says as we exit, my hand still up his shorts, extending the "comedy riff" for as long as possible. I stealthily slip the avacodo out of my backpack and into my right hand.

"Just joking around." Hey, it works.

Thanks to Dave in Texas, or, as I call him, "Stinky."

digg this
posted by Ace at 01:09 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Braenyard: ">>>>I think the rumor is they are have talks about ..."

San Franpsycho: "People who read [i]The Guardian[/i] embrace third- ..."

illiniwek: "Usually "bad instructions" are because they are wr ..."

The ARC of History!: "[i]Virtually nobody moves from a First World count ..."

AZ deplorable moron: "Damn it! Read the content. Rookie mistake. Posted ..."

CrotchetyOldJarhead: "Lock rebuild instructions!? Poorly written? Pictu ..."

AZ deplorable moron: "When the Guardian tells you *anything* believe the ..."

Idaho Spudboy: "I miss the time when we could unironically call ou ..."

The ARC of History!: "Pretty simple to define: People move (by the mi ..."

Archimedes: "It's so strange that Third Worlders all want to co ..."

Dr. Bone: ">>>For "rebuilding" to work like it did in Japan y ..."

Braenyard: ">>>I respect the hell out of what Musk did, but th ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64