They Keep Stealing My Best Ideas: Patrick Swayze Bouncer-Epic Roadhouse Now A... Stage Play | Main | Open Thread: London Bombings
July 06, 2005

Hydroponic Hamburgers?: Researchers Propose Cultivating Beef Tissue In Laboratories, Sans Cows

I'm down with it. What the hell do I care?:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Laboratories using new tissue engineering technology might be able to produce meat that is healthier for consumers and cut down on pollution produced by factory farming, researchers said on Wednesday.

While NASA engineers have grown fish tissue in lab dishes, no one has seriously proposed a way to grow meat on commercial levels.

But a new study conducted by University of Maryland doctoral student Jason Matheny and his colleagues describe two possible ways to do it.

Writing in the journal Tissue Engineering, Matheny said scientists could grow cells from the muscle tissue of cattle, pigs, poultry or fish in large flat sheets on thin membranes. These sheets of cells would be grown and stretched, then removed from the membranes and stacked to increase thickness and resemble meat.

Using another method, scientists could grow muscle cells on small three-dimensional beads that stretch with small changes in temperature. The resulting tissue could be used to make processed meat such as chicken nuggets or hamburgers.

"There would be a lot of benefits from cultured meat," Matheny said in a statement. "For one thing, you could control the nutrients."

Meat is high in omega-6 fatty acid, which is desirable, but not in large amounts. Healthful omega-3 fatty acids, such as those found in walnuts and fish oils, could be substituted.

Alternately, you could just substitute people.

Soylent Green is people, you know. And it's f'n' tasty.

PS, did you ever notice how lame the inducement for euthanasia-followed-by-food-processing was in Soylent Green? You get to eat a couple of fucking apples and then watch the gayest fucking nature film ever made.

Even assuming there's no nature left in the overpopulated world of 1988 (or whenever the movie's supposed to take place), didn't fucking film stock survive?

Wowsers. I get to sit here snacking on fucking trail mix while you show me fucking squirrels-riding-on-waterskis movies. Where do I sign up for the suicide cyanide drip.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:34 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Tami [/b][/i] [/s] [/u]: "Include this: https://twitter.com/alexthechick/st ..."

weft cut-loop[/i][/b]: "[i]Also a pain in the butt, but IMO it works well ..."

Grump928(C): "[i]I'm pretty sure they could have written a bette ..."

rickb223 [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "Just for the record, alex's coup was that she actu ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: "Now here's what I don't get: does anyone seriously ..."

Rbastid: "When this all stated most Trump supporters assumed ..."

Gref: "Another 'Trump is Just Plain Bad' bit of "journali ..."

DaveA : "Because pay moar tax is a winner. ..."

El Jefe ~ Blue Zones POW MIA ~ You Are Not Forgotten ~: "So... The 1040 tax extension. I understand tha ..."

Jean: " 80 How do I link ATCs twitter fire to an email to ..."

Bete: "72 59 Let me guess: nothing bad will happen to any ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Mostly Peaceful, Free WA, Buy Ammo: "Yea Alex Good on you, girl ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64