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June 23, 2005

Be Batman on a Budget

Forbes does some back-of-the-envelope scratchwork to figure out exactly how expensive it would be to lead the Batman lifestyle.

Sort of. They're not calculating how much it would cost to be the actual Batman-- his armor alone, the film tells us, costs $300,000 a pop -- but to be a kinda-sorta almost wannabe. You're not going to buy the real $300,000 Bat-armor, but Forbes suggests...

Real-world superhero wanna-bes will have to go with a much more prosaic solution. We recommend a lightweight ProMAX OTV bulletproof jacket, which will cover your arms and torso for only $1,085. A decent Kevlar helmet will run about $500.

Of course, if you don't want to lug around all that stuff, you could forgo the armor and just buy yourself a collectors-grade Batman movie costume for about $430. It won't provide any protection, but at least you'll look cool.

Sounds sorta possible! I can do this, I'm thinking right now.

Okay, even something resembling the Batmobile will run you $200,000. So maybe that's out-- for now. It may not be cool, but I guess I'll have to take the subways.

No problem. There are a lot of evil-doers on the subways. Anyone who asks me to donate to "The United Negro Pizza Fund" is going to have to get some rough Ace of Spades justice. You can't just use that kind of hack line, even if you're a panhandler.

Update your act, guys.

Thanks to Dave from Garfield-Ridge, who casts some degree of doubt on Tina Brown's theory that conservatives are obsessed by Hillary! due to suspicions of "hot girl-on-girl action" in her past.

Dave's not very polite about dismissing this theory. Let's just say his central point is that Hillary! isn't quite Asia Carrera, and no one (except for maybe Al Franken) is fantasizing about a tryst between Hillary! and, say, Madeleine Albright.


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posted by Ace at 01:40 PM

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