Sponsored Content
Amnesty International Aids A Terrorist | Main | Howard Dean And The Automated Blasting Cap [The Therapist]
June 12, 2005

David, David, David [Andrew S.]

The moral idiocy and intellectual dishonesty of David's latest salvo forces me to battle the wave of fatigue and mild nausea that overcomes me most evenings long enough to compose a cogent response, even as I battle an impulse to abandon the modicum of civility to which I currently cling.

Like a stream of urine vaporized by the gusting winds off the Cuban shoreline, David's illogical "venting" misses the mark and dissipates on examination.

That the posts he uses to support his unprovoked assaults smell strongly of mothballs provides further proof of either a lack of sincerity or a dearth of ideas, and earns him the Ace of Spades Award for Most Recycled Posts.

Where to begin? Is David questioning my commitment to dental hygiene or opposition to the use of a highly destructive drug? If this is the case, it bespeaks either stunning cynicism or a contempt for the general public, who he apparently believes will be easily swayed (and thoroughly distracted) by allusions to "deviant" sexual behavior. The time-tested proverb that advises baffling one's audience with bullshit comes to mind here.

He then allows that it's "Perfectly all right to be gay" (I am, of course, eternally grateful for his approval), but I fail to see the connection between this condescending allowance, his battle with obesity, and America's favorite pastime. However, as I'm admittedly unfamiliar with the slang and euphemisms native to "Garfield Ridge," and have little interest in baseball, I may be missing some subtle humor in this (apparently) incongruos analogy.

As for the air vent picture that David posted, I'm far too busy working on my shortlist of candidates for "E-mail of the Day" to allot much time for close examination, but I'ill be soliciting feedback from any readers who may have experience in HVAC design.

Finally, since David has abandoned even the pretense of decency by making derisive comments about my health in recent being less than optimal, it's incumbent upon him to extend an olive branch, but I won't hold my breath. Were I to do so, I'm sure the resulting facial contortions would provide ample fodder for his next post.

PS: While it's true that I currently hold several highly prestigious jobs that allow me to make ends meet, this writing is strictly a labor of love, and a rather expensive one at that. If you like what you see here, please consider hitting the tip jar on your way out. Bandwidth doesn't grow on trees, you know.

digg this
posted by Ace at 05:03 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Christopher R Taylor [/i][/i][/b][/b][/s][/s]: "[i]am I gonna have to be Lamont the Big Dummy agai ..."

Minuteman: "Get Andrew Tate on the hotline. He'll have her mak ..."

ghost of hallelujah: "satire? ..."

Rbastid: "So, some little Ace exclusive stuff, I actually k ..."

Duncanthrax: "[i]Yep. SMH does not understand our ways. [/i] ..."

AlaBAMA : "I used to think these had to be parody because no ..."

Aetius451AD: "Far Cry 5? Posted by: Or something else by Ubisof ..."

Soothsayer, the HQ's Most Respected Commenter: " Let's do a post explaining to me how the word "L ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water: "Boston is a strong choice. + Police "Synchronici ..."

Yudhishthira's Dice: " Look... when everyone keeps saying for years tha ..."

rhomboid: "Thicker hide and the scroll function, FFS. Long t ..."

TheJamesMadison, watching some Best Pictures: "498 That public face is fake. It represents its co ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64