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June 12, 2005

David, David, David [Andrew S.]

The moral idiocy and intellectual dishonesty of David's latest salvo forces me to battle the wave of fatigue and mild nausea that overcomes me most evenings long enough to compose a cogent response, even as I battle an impulse to abandon the modicum of civility to which I currently cling.

Like a stream of urine vaporized by the gusting winds off the Cuban shoreline, David's illogical "venting" misses the mark and dissipates on examination.

That the posts he uses to support his unprovoked assaults smell strongly of mothballs provides further proof of either a lack of sincerity or a dearth of ideas, and earns him the Ace of Spades Award for Most Recycled Posts.


Where to begin? Is David questioning my commitment to dental hygiene or opposition to the use of a highly destructive drug? If this is the case, it bespeaks either stunning cynicism or a contempt for the general public, who he apparently believes will be easily swayed (and thoroughly distracted) by allusions to "deviant" sexual behavior. The time-tested proverb that advises baffling one's audience with bullshit comes to mind here.

He then allows that it's "Perfectly all right to be gay" (I am, of course, eternally grateful for his approval), but I fail to see the connection between this condescending allowance, his battle with obesity, and America's favorite pastime. However, as I'm admittedly unfamiliar with the slang and euphemisms native to "Garfield Ridge," and have little interest in baseball, I may be missing some subtle humor in this (apparently) incongruos analogy.

As for the air vent picture that David posted, I'm far too busy working on my shortlist of candidates for "E-mail of the Day" to allot much time for close examination, but I'ill be soliciting feedback from any readers who may have experience in HVAC design.

Finally, since David has abandoned even the pretense of decency by making derisive comments about my health in recent being less than optimal, it's incumbent upon him to extend an olive branch, but I won't hold my breath. Were I to do so, I'm sure the resulting facial contortions would provide ample fodder for his next post.

PS: While it's true that I currently hold several highly prestigious jobs that allow me to make ends meet, this writing is strictly a labor of love, and a rather expensive one at that. If you like what you see here, please consider hitting the tip jar on your way out. Bandwidth doesn't grow on trees, you know.

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posted by Ace at 05:03 AM

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