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June 09, 2005

Yet Another TV Show of my youth goes bigscreen [Jen @ Demure Thoughts]

I read yesterday on The Movie Blog that a big screen version of Hawaii Five-0 is in the works staring none other than Ben Affleck.

I have been on the record more than once referring to Ben as the single most overrated actor working today. It isn't that I think he sucks, which he often does, it is that he is in the category of his ex-girl Jlo who is simply famous for being "famous." I could manage to forgive him for participating in the "Let's Fellate Kerry" tour with the rest of the hollywood nimrods, but I am just not seeing what makes him so fantastic.

Now he is going to play Steve McGarret? A role the late Jack Lords owned. It is like having someone play Sgt. "B.A." Baracus in the A-Team that isn't Mr. T. We all long to see Cedric the Entertainer as the iconic Sgt. Baracus, right? Better yet, P. Diddy.

Who is going to play Danno, Jon Favreau?

[With comments from Dave @ Garfield Ridge]


I know there are thousands of great movie scripts and ideas floating around the industry. The movie industry has lost its balls. They have resorted to making these cash cows that sully the originals so they can fund their absurd forays into what they consider "intelligent filmmaking" like that two hours of my life I will never have back known as, Sideways last year or some crap with Sean Penn in it playing a retarded war protester on death row who was raped as a schoolboy or something.

If studios are going to make movies from TV shows, they should stick to the comedies. While I am looking forward to Miami Vice, it is only because Michael Mann is in charge of the project.

I read that Jim Carrey is attached to a Six Million Dollar Man movie. The very thought of which makes me want to poke my eyes out. Do we need to see "Dumb and Dumber go to Space?" No.

You know why it really irks the hell out of me? Because it could have been really cool as a modern big screen film with an All-American type like Matt McConaughey as Steve Austin in the Six Billion Dollar Man.

If they were screwing up any other era of Television I wouldn't care so much. I grew up with 70's television and do we really want to hear a Mobyized version of the Hawaii Five-0 theme song?

---
[Dave at Garfield Ridge] Jen, I agree with your general thesis of Affleck's overall suckitude (although, to be fair, I've generally been entertained by most of his movies-- so what if he's not Olivier?).

However, I would like to say that he's most definitely NOT an overrated actor. The guy is box-office death these days. If anything, I feel that he's *underrated*, taking too many hits for work that isn't all that bad.

Case in point? Jersey Girl. It had him AND J. Lo, and I wasn't disgusted by the film. Director Kevin Smith was trying something new, it didn't really fire on all cylinders, but I enjoyed myself for two hours in a theater. Yet, there was such a (justified) backlash against all things "Bennifer" that the movie got unfairly tarred and feathered as Gigli 2: The Chin-and-Booty Strike Back.

As for your discussion about intelligent filmmaking, well. . . come now, which is it? You blast Hollywood for trying to remake Six Million Dollar Man with Jim Carrey, and offer as an alternative Matthew McConaughey? If we're just going to go through the motions of making yet another remake or ripoff, why bother casting someone who emulates Lee Majors (and poorly, I might add)? Hell, I'll just rent the original series DVDs, enjoy them, and then go see the (brilliant) Sideways in the theater. Something *original*.

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posted by Ace at 11:44 AM

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