Ace of Spades, 1; New York Post, 0 | Main | "If You Get Nervous, Just Try To Imagine The Psychopathic Dictator In His Underpants"
May 23, 2005

Is That a Bear In Your Pool Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

I continue to be conflicted about bears.

1) Totally cute.

2) Overgrown weasels.

3) "Nature's little Wookies."

4) Kill-crazy murder-machines who will hunt you down and rend you into pieces just because you gave them a "funny look."

But awwww...

It's virtually a sitcom already. She looks like she's waiting for someone to rub PDF 15 on her back.

A 140-pound bear wandered into a suburban neighborhood and took a dip in a swimming pool before being tranquilized and returned to the wild.

The female bear ambled into the San Fernando Valley's Porter Ranch area shortly after 6 p.m. Sunday, bumping into doors and windows before taking a few splashes in a backyard pool, fire spokesman Brian Humphrey said.

...

"It looks like it's possibly in heat," [an animal control officer] said. "She probably just made a wrong turn and ended up in a neighborhood. She belongs up in the hills and that's where she lives."

In heat. So she decided to throw an impromptu pool party, and was disappointed when no one else showed up.

Sounds like me in seventh grade.

Thanks to Chickpea.


digg this
posted by Ace at 03:35 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Harvey Winestein: "Pinky swear, your Honor, I just slipped in a pool ..."

GAINZ: "Who cares. They BOTH has Carbs!! ..."

ThePrimordialOrderedPair: "[i]See Playboy - women Posted by: ObviouslyDHap ..."

Just the Punchline: "No, no! The banana goes in ze [i]front[/i] of ze ..."

Northernlurker : " 9 Hey CNN, if you have a prostate are you a ma ..."

Harry Paratestes: "62 Apples are superioir to Bananas because you can ..."

Lily(Formerly of Hot Air) now of AoSHQ, Assassin in the Night: "You really think they are being pro-active because ..."

Roc Ingersol: "CNN or formerly know as Saddam Hussein Network. ..."

Marlin Perkins: "[i]Sometimes Bananas identify with being born on b ..."

ObviouslyDHappy: "That is not an apple. It is a two dimensional rep ..."

Banana Splits Guy - Bunch Em If You Got Em: "Bananas have potassium which keeps you from facial ..."

Burger Chef: "You'll know when "Peak Stupid" is achieved(?) when ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64