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May 20, 2005

Old But Worth Re-Linking: Grading Children's Crappy Artwork

Chickpea reminded me of this hysterical site, in which a very bitter adult judges children's art in objective terms, and decides that, of course, it's all pretty sucky.

This is by Lisa, aged 6:

The review:

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit. [Grade:] F

The guy gives out an awful lot of "F's." All frankly well deserved.

Kids can't draw. Let's encourage them to do things they're actually good at, like working in low-paying textile sweatshops. Those little dextrous fingers can really produce some tight stitching, once they've been properly incentivized (i.e., beaten and denied water for days on end).

Updated.... Found! Perhaps the second or third funniest thing ever on Conan O'Brien was David Sedaris' over-the-top bitchy review of an elementary school Christmas pageant. With Frank Rich like derisiveness, he slammed the lead actress, let's say the seven-year-old Charlotte playing Mary, for failing to have enough stage presence to actually convince him she was a virgin.

Hubris found it. There's no direct URL, but go here, to This American Life, then search for the episode "A Very Special Sedaris Christmas," episode 87, 12/19/97. It's at the top left under "2002 shows" in the main archive (rebroadcast), Hubris says, and I believe him.

Direct Link Found: Hubris Utron now supplies the direct link. There's a seven minute intro, he says, which is worth listening to, but the thing I'm talking about follows that.


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posted by Ace at 11:10 AM

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