Andrew Sullivan Is A Silly Bitch | Main | Obscenity!: Koran Torn Up And Used To Block Toilets
May 19, 2005

"Who Said You Were An Indian, White Man?"

Ward Churchill's "proof" of Indian ancenstry has always hung by three very thin threads. You may think I'm joking about the first two because I don't have a cite. Well, my cite is the Brit Hume show last night. Brit read them with that near-chuckle of his that he's finding increasingly difficult to stifle.

Ward Churchill's claim to be an Indian is based on:

1) The fact that he thinks of himself as an Indian.

Look, I spent a very profitable summer touring, um, clubs as the Indian as part of a Village People cover band (we were called "Hang Out With All the Boys"), and yet this fact alone did not warrant Colorado University hiring me as an Indian studies professor.

2) Other people think of him as an Indian.

Again: I sold it. In my head-dress and fringe jacket, I was an Indian, damnit, and I've got the tips to prove it.

And:

3) The United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians gave Ward Churchill an "honorary associate membership."

Okay, I didn't have that. So maybe he really is an Indian. Right?

Wrong.

An Oklahoma Indian tribe says an embattled University of Colorado professor whose claim of Indian heritage is under investigation "could not prove any Cherokee ancestry."

In a statement on its Web site, the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians said it gave Ward Churchill an "honorary associate membership" because he promised to write a tribal history.

Churchill, a tenured professor of ethnic studies who could lose his job over allegations that he lied about his ancestry and plagiarized others' work, said Wednesday the tribe's statements are false.

In an e-mail to The Associated Press, Churchill said the United Keetowahs' membership committee twice confirmed he has Cherokee ancestors before he was made an associate member. He said the tribe has a right to disenroll him or ask him to resign, but that it hasn't done so.

Ah. The tribe he "belongs" to is lying. All of them. Every last one of those dishonest redskins is lying.

Now, I don't want to speculate, but could it be that Ward Churchill has been, err, misrepresenting the import of this silly little junior G-Man card this tribe gave him, pretty much just to be nice and get him off their tits, for years and years? And that it's only now that someone thought of contacting the tribe to ask if the "honorary associate membership" actually meant anything at all?

If I'd known they were giving out "honorary associate memberships," I would have applied for one myself. Believe me, I earned it that summer with Hanging Out With All The Boys. Things happened on the tour bus between Key West and Miami I still can't talk to a therapist about.

You want to talk about a Trail of Tears? Don't even get me started.

Thanks to Chickpea.






Recent Comments
publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear: " With "utilizaton" voltages, most wiring is rate ..."

X-ray: "I shot, skinned, and gutted a squirrel today. Its ..."

BignJames: "I shot, skinned, and gutted a squirrel today. Its ..."

ScoggDog: "[i]308 I shot, skinned, and gutted a squirrel toda ..."

Alberta Oil Peon, survivor of GNAMM: "Dood, only reason I even know about the fires is t ..."

NaCly Dog[/i]: "Nevergiveup Pretty cool. Hope the backstop ..."

publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear: ">> Don't most things come with a plug that dictate ..."

You will love my Richard: "I shot, skinned, and gutted a squirrel today. Its ..."

PMRich: "I left just shortly before the flood. Anybody ..."

Under Fire: "Maxine Waters: 'I Will Go and Take Trump Out Tonig ..."

Misanthropic Humanitarian: "But don't try to take away my food processor or I' ..."

Peaches: "pixy, one of these days, boy, one of these days, i ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64