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I Hate To Be Johnny-One-Note, But... »
May 03, 2005
The McLaughlin Idol
A transcript of last Sunday's show, in which the gang argues about the surprise ejection of Constantine "Smolderin' Hot" Maroulis.
John McLaughlin: Question: Are you surprised that Maroulis - without question a heartthrob unmatched since since the days David Cassidy graced lunchboxes from coast to coast - was voted off of the show? Pat Buchanan.
Pat Buchanan: ...you completely ignored Carrie and Anthony...
John McLaughlin: Come now. Are you, Pat Buchanan, disputing my earlier prediction that 2005 will be the year of the rock and roller on American Idol?
Pat Buchanan: That's exactly what I'm telling you, John. Look, you've got two young kids on that show there whose very stories exemplify the American dream. This Anthony comes from a family of immgrants-- legal immigrants, mind you...
Eleanor Clift: Oh, PLEASE!
John McLaughlin: Let him finish, Eleanor.
Pat Buchanan: At one time they didn't think the kid would ever be able to sing at all, then he ends up in the top ten. Then you've got this girl, Carrie-- she lives on a farm, she's from a very wholesome, conservative family...
Eleanor Clift: Excuse me! Excuse me! Are you telling me that you can tell these people are conservative just because they live on a farm?
Pat Buchanan [Chuckling]: Well what do you think? You think they get up every day, go out and milk the cows and talk about how 13-year old girls ought to be allowed to have abortions without their parents being involved?
Eleanor Clift: I think what they probably talk about when they're sitting around their kitchen table...
Tony Blankley: Here we go with the kitchen table.
Eleanor Clift: Excuse me, I'm speaking! As I was saying, I think what they probably talk about when they're sitting around their kitchen table is whether or not Bush is going to bankrupt social security...
Good stuff.
Yeaahhhhp... I really ought to try to get back into that "comedy writing" thing that was working for me for a while.
WRONG! Update: Football Fans and Beyond has a transcript of Paula Abdul's call to dreamboat "idol" Scott Sabol, trying to pick him up.
It's all good. It's all good.