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May 03, 2005

The McLaughlin Idol

A transcript of last Sunday's show, in which the gang argues about the surprise ejection of Constantine "Smolderin' Hot" Maroulis.

John McLaughlin: Question: Are you surprised that Maroulis - without question a heartthrob unmatched since since the days David Cassidy graced lunchboxes from coast to coast - was voted off of the show? Pat Buchanan.


Pat Buchanan: ...you completely ignored Carrie and Anthony...


John McLaughlin: Come now. Are you, Pat Buchanan, disputing my earlier prediction that 2005 will be the year of the rock and roller on American Idol?


Pat Buchanan: That's exactly what I'm telling you, John. Look, you've got two young kids on that show there whose very stories exemplify the American dream. This Anthony comes from a family of immgrants-- legal immigrants, mind you...


Eleanor Clift: Oh, PLEASE!


John McLaughlin: Let him finish, Eleanor.


Pat Buchanan: At one time they didn't think the kid would ever be able to sing at all, then he ends up in the top ten. Then you've got this girl, Carrie-- she lives on a farm, she's from a very wholesome, conservative family...


Eleanor Clift: Excuse me! Excuse me! Are you telling me that you can tell these people are conservative just because they live on a farm?


Pat Buchanan [Chuckling]: Well what do you think? You think they get up every day, go out and milk the cows and talk about how 13-year old girls ought to be allowed to have abortions without their parents being involved?


Eleanor Clift: I think what they probably talk about when they're sitting around their kitchen table...


Tony Blankley: Here we go with the kitchen table.

Eleanor Clift: Excuse me, I'm speaking! As I was saying, I think what they probably talk about when they're sitting around their kitchen table is whether or not Bush is going to bankrupt social security...

Good stuff.

Yeaahhhhp... I really ought to try to get back into that "comedy writing" thing that was working for me for a while.

WRONG! Update: Football Fans and Beyond has a transcript of Paula Abdul's call to dreamboat "idol" Scott Sabol, trying to pick him up.

It's all good. It's all good.


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posted by Ace at 11:36 AM

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