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March 31, 2005

On a Lighter Note...

Their headline, not mine:

Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog

Police said they were searching for a gunman who ran up to a woman while she was walking her dog Monday night and grabbed the bag she was holding. It contained poop.

When the gunman discovered what was in it, he threw it down in disgust, pointed his gun at the 32-year-old woman and demanded money....

He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at the dog, named Misty, and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire.

Bear in mind that the bag containing the poop was most likely not a Kate Spade leather daypouch. More likely a paper or plastic bag.

And yet this gunman was all hot for that paper or plastic bag. Think of the bountiful riches it might have contained... tampons, Tropical Fruit Tums EX, maybe a hot-dog or pretzel.

Dave from Garfield Ridge quoted Spaceballs the other day: "Evil will always triumph, because good... is dumb."

Fortunately, in most cases, that's actually 100% backwards.

I have to give Yahoo props for using the word "Poop" in a headline.

Somewhere in New York, Robert Smigel, the guy who does Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, just smiled and said, "Thank you, God. Now I can milk this stale bit for at least one more month."

Thanks to GregS.

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posted by Ace at 12:04 PM

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