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March 29, 2005
Good Call: James Bond Will Return... Played By Clive Owen
It's the only call that made sense. Hugh Jackman's good, but he's pretty busy lately, and I don't think he's quite right for the role.
Now, look: I know all the ladies love Clive Owen. So just calm yourselves and refrain from squealing about Clive. Don't make me start banning my five female commenters.
We get it already. You dig really handsome men. No need to keep rubbin' it in.
Thank God we're finally rid of that stiff girlyman Pierce Brosnan. He was like Peter Jennings, except without all the anchortwit's palpable sexual menace.
Now they just have to think about maybe buying a decent script for the first time since For Your Eyes Only.