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March 17, 2005
St. Patty's Day Re-Post!
Fat Kid wanted to know why I didn't re-post this, one of my favorite, oddest Top Tens. Well, you don't have to hold a gun to my head to re-post old material.
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Some people love potatoes. Some people could take them or leave them. Some people don't like potatoes much at all.
And then some people despise potatoes so passionately they malign them in the most venomous, hateful terms. An entire "subculture of hate" has sprung up in opposition to the innocent, humble tater. Committed "tater-haters" spread their venom in order to undermine what they call "the Spud Agenda."
Top Ten Disparaging Terms for Potatoes, By People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes
10. "The Irish Scourge"
9. "The Predatory Pedophiles of the Plant Kingdom"
8. "Idaho turdmuffins"
7. "Hitler-tubers" (archaic form: "Kaiser-tubers")
6. "Satan's Yams"
5. "Dirt-Testes"
4. "Insidious, Godless Commuspuds"
3. "Nature's Little Zionists"
2. "Dirtbacks" (considered a racial slur against potatoes)
…and the Number One Disparaging Term for Potatoes, by People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes…
1. "Retard-apples"