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March 12, 2005

A Defense and Explication of the Motivational Techniques of Mr. Paul Anka

First of all, I assume everyone here is familiar with this absolutely hysterical tape of Mr. Paul Anka's profanity-rich chewing out of his band, right? I imagine it will be the new rage, like that new "Star Wars kid" video that's going around.

Cavarly Charge thinks that the laughs at Mr. Paul Anka's expense are undeserved, and sets out to explain the management principles and motivational techinques that collectively may be called "The Zen of The Only Important One On That Stage":

"If you don’t feel embarrassed about it then you have no conscience, you got no heart, you got no integrity-- do you understand that?...and all you do is take the fucking money and you have no substance…People with substance and character care about what the fuck they do and they fix it...and I think you are working with me because that's the way you are."

This is clearly the “mother lode”. This statement defines the “kind of integrity kick” he is on.

While what he is saying is intense (he is accusing his band of having no conscience, heart, or integrity)-- he is reminding them of why he hired them all in the first place. Obviously the band members displayed some exceptional qualities in their audition, or else Mr. Anka would have never brought them back for a second audition and eventually hired them on. So, he again is challenging them to “get back to basics”. Getting back to the way things were before. By saying this he suggests, and rightfully so, that the band has become lax. He says "You’ve got it too good...and as long as you got it good you gotta make it good".

Anka feels like he takes care of his band. It’s almost a reference back to the important “full value on your money” question. If the guys have it good, which Mr. Anka feels they most certainly do, they need to make good on their work. They need to provide Mr. Anka full value on their services. They owe it to him to perform, no exceptions. There is no half-way. When mistakes happen they know how he moves, so there is no excuse for a sub par performance.

When it all goes awry, they should have the integrity and character to fix what’s wrong. Instead of thinking their boss is a pain in the ass, they need to stop and say “Hey, we have been slacking, Paul pays us a good wage, he takes care of us, we need to fix this loose shit and move on.”

CNN's Jonathan Klein ought to read this important essay and use the lessons therein to bring some "conscious" back to his ailing, aging liberal news outfit, which, I have to say, seems to me to have nothing to add "but confusion" and furthermore just doesn't ever seem to "put me some fucking information here."

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posted by Ace at 06:47 AM

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