Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Man Surprised To Discover Five-Inch Knife Stuck Through His Head | Main | "Preference Cascades" and the Fall of Tyrants
March 07, 2005

Which D&D Character Are You?

Okay, I actually despise these "Which Somethin'-Somthin' Are You?" quizzes, but I'll make an exception for this one.

Not that it's a good quiz, mind you. I mean, they pretty much just come right out and ask you up front, "Are you an elf? Are you a ranger? Do you dig on scimitars?," and then, surprise surprise, you turn out to be an Elven Ranger with a scimitar.

There has to be some craftier, less-obvious way of getting at your D&D character than simply asking, "If you're stuck on a desert island, which of the following would you most want in your possession: a) a +3 Dwarven Thrower Warhammer, b) material components for your Magic Missile spells, c) a set of sweeeet +4 thief's picks and tools, or d) a Holy Symbol, or e) the faggy shit Druids carry around with them so they can Commune With Woodchucks?"

Not exactly subtle is what I'm saying.

Still, if you're interested, the quiz can be found here.

It was sent to me by long-time on-line correspondent VonKreedon. Half the reason I'm posting this quz is so I can tell this tale out of school:

VonKreedon is a good guy, but he's a super-liberal super-dork.

What do I mean by this?

I mean, he used to protest nuclear plants and then, after being arrested, play GURPS (an even dorkier version of D&D, in case the name doesn't give that away) while in jail. He actually offered this information up.

And then he (jokingly of course) said his favorite chant was "What do we want? An enjoyable session of communal fantasy role-playing! When do we want it? How's next Thursday sound?"

Playing a fantasy role playing game in the joint. You need to be either very brave or very stupid to try that one. Or just trying to "get lucky."

I never grew tired of asking him if he ever failed a saving throw against forcible gang-sodomy.

Sorry, VonK: But if you didn't want that out there you should never have said it, on the record, to an, ahem, on-line journalist like myself.

Besides. Comedy has no loyalties, no friends, and no conscience. It's like the Terminator programmed primarily to attack with "Yo Mama" jokes.

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:33 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Aetius451AD: "512 Aetius, permanently. Posted by: RickZ at July ..."

RickZ: "Aetius, permanently. ..."

Aetius451AD: "Had SJL retired? ..."

Rupert Pupkin: "I live in a region of the country where I should h ..."

stultify: "I pay a quіck visit everyday a few web site& ..."

Romeo13: "Touché, Puddleglum and Romeo13. Well played. ..."

Aetius451AD: "Also, thanks for the ONT. ..."

Aetius451AD: "Reagan joke about waiting: ..."

Aetius451AD: "Dammit, I was just about to make the small fractio ..."

Romeo13: "503 491 FROM THE POTOMAC TO THE SEA... OUR REPU ..."

Romeo13: "The Left is pushing the story that Trump went Golf ..."

Puddleglum at work: "[i]491 FROM THE POTOMAC TO THE SEA... OUR REPUB ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64