Ace of Spades HQ

« Partly Defending Clinton For His Pro-Iran Remarks | Main | Man Surprised To Discover Five-Inch Knife Stuck Through His Head »

March 07, 2005

Police Raid Home To Capture Most-Wanted Hamster

Well, not really:

The spokesman for police in Bremen said on Monday police broke open the door after being alerted by neighbours that loud music was playing non-stop for five days and the lights were left on. No one answered the door when they knocked, police said.
"There was a fear the occupant might have been disabled or dead," a police spokesman said. "All we found was a pet hamster. The occupant was away on holiday. A friend of his arrived and said he left the music on so the hamster wouldn't feel lonely."

A big waste of police resources? Not necessarily. The police discovered thousands of CD's of underage-hamster porn this little sawdust-smelling bastard was distributing via the Internet.

On his distribution list? That's right, you guessed it: Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Ruebens.

Thanks to GregS.

posted by Ace at 03:07 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries Border Official: Biden-Harris Administration Ordered Us to Bury Data About Terror Suspects Crossing the Border, So They Could Continue Pretending There Is No Border Crisis THE MORNING RANT - Another Generation of Solyndras: Government Subsidized “Clean Fuel” Startups Are Failing Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 9/20/24 Daily Tech News 20 September 2024 The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The ONT The Superstars of Miami Vice Cafe Quack Hats ABC "News" Ratings Down One Million Viewers, or 12%, Since David Muir's Disgracefully Partisan Debate Performance 19-Year-Old "Trans-Identified Female" Arrested for Making Terrorist Threats to Shoot Up an Elementary School Absent Friends Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Partly Defending Clinton For His Pro-Iran Remarks \| Main \| Man Surprised To Discover Five-Inch Knife Stuck Through His Head » March 07, 2005 Police Raid Home To Capture Most-Wanted Hamster Well, not really: The spokesman for police in Bremen said on Monday police broke open the door after being alerted by neighbours that loud music was playing non-stop for five days and the lights were left on. No one answered the door when they knocked, police said. "There was a fear the occupant might have been disabled or dead," a police spokesman said. "All we found was a pet hamster. The occupant was away on holiday. A friend of his arrived and said he left the music on so the hamster wouldn't feel lonely." A big waste of police resources? Not necessarily. The police discovered thousands of CD's of underage-hamster porn this little sawdust-smelling bastard was distributing via the Internet. On his distribution list? That's right, you guessed it: Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Ruebens. Thanks to GregS. posted by Ace at 03:07 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments [/i][/u][/s][/b]Oddbob: "[i]"I could cozy up to her after blasting her in p ..." Sponge - Fck Joe Biden: "Links. Links everywhere. ..." Sponge - Fck Joe Biden: "FIRST!!!!! ..." Duke Lowell: "My God, it's full of link! ..." vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion: "Heitke obviously should be arrested for misdismali ..." Chuck Martel: "Nood, upstairs ..." Sponge - Fck Joe Biden: "[i]Dyson berated Mace when they were on a panel to ..." Hadrian the Seventh: " Nud ..." Roger Ball: "Outstanding as always, and close to home for me: ..." TheJamesMadison, going full throttle with Tony Scott: "303 298 No male reporter is going to be nice to he ..." Chuck Martel: "Bloodbath I'll get the others ..." Braenyard: "Dyson berated Mace when they were on a panel toget ..." Recent Entries Border Official: Biden-Harris Administration Ordered Us to Bury Data About Terror Suspects Crossing the Border, So They Could Continue Pretending There Is No Border Crisis THE MORNING RANT - Another Generation of Solyndras: Government Subsidized “Clean Fuel” Startups Are Failing Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 9/20/24 Daily Tech News 20 September 2024 The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The ONT The Superstars of Miami Vice Cafe Quack Hats ABC "News" Ratings Down One Million Viewers, or 12%, Since David Muir's Disgracefully Partisan Debate Performance 19-Year-Old "Trans-Identified Female" Arrested for Making Terrorist Threats to Shoot Up an Elementary School* Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Real Clear Politics Rasmussen Reports Gallup Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64