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January 22, 2005

Stop Me If You've Heard This Norm MacDonald Joke Before

"Cool mom" provides methamphetamines, pot, and booze to teenage boys, then has sex with them.

Read more about it in my new magazine, The Greatest F'n' Mom in the Whole Damn World.

Jeepers. My mom wouldn't even let me watch Family Ties, as she considered Nick to be a bad influence.

Before I Get Scolded... Yes, I realize that this is actually a serious offense and all. I'm just joking.

Sort of.

I'm just never going to be convinced that "statutory rape" of underage boys by women is anything near as bad offense as statutory rape of underage girls by men (or women, for that matter).

Teenage boys are horn-machines without conscious or remorse and with only one goal in life, 24/7. Sexual Terminators. Or would-be sexual Terminators, that is. Most, of course, spend all their time "practicing" at the, um, "firing range."

Clarification: I didn't mean to start a major argument, nor suggest that what this woman did isn't criminal and shouldn't be prosecuted. It is and she should be.

I was just being a bit defensive about making the joke-- which is the joke many men make in this situation, a sort of wink, wink, nudge, nudge type deal.

There is a law on the books, it's there for a reason, and the woman should be dealt with.

It may be that men without kids react differently about this kind of thing-- when we hear about, we think about ourselves and think "No big deal," while people with children don't think about themselves, but rather their own boys, and think "That is certainly a big deal, and the woman should be locked up."

Obviously, this sort of thing shouldn't happen, and there is the potential for a host of ills from it, including, I guess, psychological damage. Even for boys.

Still, I just don't think that boys are quite as likely to be messed up by this sort of violation.

Every neighborhood had a hot mom all the boys used to fantasize about. These fantasies usually involved shovelling out the snow in Hot Mom's driveway, being invited in for hot cocoa, and then being told she didn't have quite enough money for a proper tip.

In fact, some bands even write catchy pop songs about just this fantasy (search for Stacy's Mom; don't ask why the video features Rogue, Wolverine, and Jean Grey).

Just sayin'.

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posted by Ace at 04:14 PM

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