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January 01, 2005

And Speaking of Margaret Cho: Best of Ace, #7

Two funny pieces about Margaret Cho, which would probably be higher on the list, except that 1, I've re-linked them a bunch of times, and 2, both are sort of ranty rush-jobs. Not the sort of professional-reading anti-Cho piece that I'm really proud of as a writer.

Proud of as a cheap-shot insult artist, yes. As a writer, not so much.

Still, this one's pretty good, and it includes one of my all-time favorite put-downs, ever:

But all of this was just too easy. No one talks about Margaret Cho; no one thinks about Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho doesn't even follow Margaret Cho's career.

"Career"?

Perhaps we use our words too loosely. Andrew Ridgely-- the other dude from Wham! -- looks at Margaret Cho's career and sees a cautionary tale.

Shelley Long looks at Margaret Cho's career trajectory and thinks, "Oooh, now that's what I call a rough patch."

The transexual serial killer in Silence of the Lambs has a higher Q-Rating than Margaret Cho-- and we mean the actual serial-killer, not the actor playing him.

Certainly no one in Hollywood thinks of Margaret Cho for any reason, for any part. Not even Margaret Cho herself. Even when Margaret Cho somehow gets a script sent to her (by accident; addressed to "Occupant") and sees a part for a "Fat, Not-Funny Asian Woman," she immediately thinks, "You know who'd be just perfect for this? Delta Burke. Delta Burke can play Asian."

Fewer people seemed to like this post, but I thought it was a pretty funny subversion of old jokes in the cause of blasting Cho some more:

Margaret Cho walks into a fashionable Hollywood bar, walking a shit-covered, fly-clouded pig on a leash.

"Hey!" the bartender exclaims. "You can't bring that fat, stinking, shitty sack of pork-lard into this bar."

Margaret Cho and the pig exit the bar.

Ten minutes later, the pig returns to the Hollywood bar, this time without Margaret Cho. The pig jumps up on a barstool and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall one.

"Thanks for being so understanding," the bartender says.

"Oh, I get that all the time," the pig says. "I can't go anywhere in this town with her. Margaret Cho is absolute poison within the industry."

Dumb, yeah, but it still makes me giggle a little.

Thanks to RDBrewer for finding that Cartman pic and tweaking it a bit to make it a bit more Cho-esque.


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posted by Ace at 05:39 PM

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