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December 14, 2004

NYT Shock: Powerful Pol Had Sex With Hot Rich Chick!

Flooding the zone on this very important, policy-implicating Kerik fiasco!*

While the Broadsheet Doyennes cover this incredibly important story on the first page, throwing all sorts of journalistic resources behind uncovering the Watergate-level scandal, the sensationalistic and puerile New York Post covers the titilating-but-trivial tale of Clinton pardonee Marc Rich's role in the lurid and sex-dripping Oil for Food scandal, and the irresponsible and irrelevant Newsmax bothers itself with non-stories about the son of the UN Secretary General getting juicy payoffs to allow fraud to run wild in the same scam.

I mean, sure, if you want to just jerk off while reading your so-called "news," by all means read the Post and Newsmax.

But if you want the important news delivered to you in a sober and non-sensationalized manner, then go to the New York Times to find out how many times a week Kerik was banging Judith Regan.

And this, folks, is why the alternative media will never supplant our mainstream media. While they're covering important stories which very well could shape world politics for the next twenty years, the right-wing "alternative" media is peeping through keyholes hyping juicy-hot kinky-dirty stories of global corruption to the tune of 21 billion dollars.

Why can't we rise to their level? When will I ever get over my panty-sniffing creepy sexual interest in complicated international oil-market accounting-scams?

*Okay, that Times piece isn't actually about Judith Regan. It's about Kerik's "shadowy connections" to shady people.

Still, it's nice to see where the Times' priorites lay.

I can promise you that if we were talking about Kojo Bush and Marc Cheney, the Times would suddenly rouse itself from its sleepy boredom about the scandal.


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posted by Ace at 11:51 PM

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