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December 09, 2004

University of Michigan Will Teach Sex To, Get This, College Students

Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle. By junior year I could have been a TA in such a course.

I entered college with 3 AP credits in "painful six-hour grinding sessions" and I "totally" aced the SAT section on "well-nigh constant self-gratification."

When your Mom asks you what the hell you're doing in the bathroom for an hour and a half, do you say you're "just fixing your hair"? Absolutely not-- that's the Joe Bloggs answer. Not even Heather Locklear spends ninety minutes working on her bangs.

Tell her instead you think you have a virulent stomach flu and that you fear you may vomit. That way, you get her off your tits for ten blissful minutes, and then she makes you hot cocoa later.

So, see, I sorta get the feeling that college students kinda know what they're doing on that score.

Maybe you start, I don't know, making character-building courses mandatory, rather than redefining the core mission of college as sexual evangelism.

Thanks to NickS.


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posted by Ace at 04:05 PM

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