Sponsored Content
« Wizbang's Best of Blogs Voting Is Open | Main | Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Radar Love? »
December 02, 2004

Need a Job? INXS Looking For New Frontman

Michael Hutchence offed himself, and the band broke up. Now they want to reform with a new singer chosen via an American Idol style auditional process.

The entry form is a bitch, though:

1. Do you ever feel like tying a rope around the rafter of your garage and hanging yourself?

2. Come on, don't shit me here. You know there's something transcendentally satisfying about that final delicious release into blissful oblivion. Just admit it, and we'll all feel better about ourselves.

3. When you're driving in a pouring rain at night and in fast-moving traffic, do you

A) keep your foot over your brake pedal in order to make smooth stops if necessary

B) keep your speed below 40 mph

C) listen to voices of beautiful but severe angels urging you to wrap your car around a lamp-post

4. Complete this sentence: I (do) (do not) have a well-nigh unconquerable urge to inject a cocktail of Everclear and rattlesnake venom directly into my vena cava.

5. Who would you say is the celebrity you feel the greatest kinship with?

A) Kurt Cobain

B) Jim Morrison

C) Sinbad, the happy-go-lucky life-affirming comedic actor

6. Ever get the blues?

7. If the answer to Number 6 is "Yes," do you ever wish for a hard rain to wash the world away? Or the desire to go joyriding and/or skiing with members of the Kennedy family?


Anyway, if you're interested, good luck with the gig! And make sure you wear one of those "CHOOSE LIFE" t-shirts from Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.


digg this
posted by Ace at 03:52 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
lin-duh: "The things I have seen from the center.... ..."

Diogenes: "Greetings Y'all!!! ..."

GWB: "And there's Ed L, always making me jealous with th ..."

Ed L: "Hello, Weasel! ..."

Helena Handbasket: ">>> 6 Ummmm, why is everything centered in the com ..."

Duke Lowell : "Looks like he got the windage just right for cente ..."

GWB: "Ummmm, why is everything centered in the comments? ..."

Pete Bog: "hello Ben Had, nice to see you albeit briefly ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: "https://tinyurl.com/3pvdve4e [i]Posted by: Sam ..."

GWB: "YAY! ..."

Skip : "I will watch the 1911 video, it was a sin to have ..."

Joe Kidd: "298 Also I never thought that chicken wire would b ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64