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November 09, 2004
Madonna Calls For US Withdrawal From Iraq, Then Pantomimes Masturbation With a Fungo Bat
Who cares what Madonna thinks?
It's kinda sad when you make a movie like Swept Away, containing what's supposed to be a big sexy scene about semi-forced sodomy, and you still can't induce perverts like myself to watch past the first three minutes.
Madonna's the sort of liberal twit who's always asking "Why do they hate us?"
You know why they hate us, Madge? Body of Evidence for starters. Dick Tracy for another one.
Sometimes I'll accidentally watch The Next Best Thing and I'll start thinking about strapping dynamite to my chest.
Thank the Lord that Osama bin Ladin's never seen Shanghai Surprise. You think he's angry now? He could be angrier still, trust me. The loss of Andalusia to the Infidels is nothing compared to watching Madonna try her hand at screwball-cute banter for ninety teeth-grinding minutes.
Update: That insipid cover of American Pie probably didn't win us any friends, either.