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November 02, 2004
I Don't Like Sex & Candy
Hmmm... using candy to lure children into graphic discussions of sex? Why didn't I think of that?
Oh yeah-- because the last time I tried they locked me up on trumped-up morals charge.
Dawn Eden, Petite Powerhouse, finds Planned Parenthood putting their filthy chocolate in the pliant peanut butter of innocent young minds, by using M&M's as an excuse for dirty-talk with children:
Code:
* Plain Brown = Health (either treatment or abstinence)
* Plain Blue = Condoms or Dental Dams
* Plain Green = Trichomoniasis
* Plain Yellow = Gonorrhea
* Plain Red = Chlamydia
* Plain Orange = Syphilis
* Peanut Green = HIV
* Peanut Red = Hepatitis B
* Peanut Orange = Herpes
* Peanut Yellow = HPV
Oy gevalt. I don't know if I'm bothered more by the sexualization of children or by the fact that apparently there are diagnosable retards able to get paying jobs in writing whereas I'm still working the counter at Kinko's.
I especially liked this bit of cleverness:
(Note that bacterial infections are represented by plain M&Ms and viral infections are represented by peanut M&Ms.)
Very witty. And note that hydroencephalitis is represented by Smarties, and malignant goiters by Zero bars.