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October 26, 2004

A Spoof I'm Far Too Respectable and Classy to Ever Write

But I sure can link it:

"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," [John Edwards' "wife" Elizabeth] explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society."

"This is a tragedy for everyone, particularly the unsuspecting wife," said Edwards. "She is that plain small town girl who meets the handsome -- yet oddly fussy -- prelaw student at the fraternity smoker, her undeveloped 'gay-dar' too weak to recognize his obsessive hair primping and unusual effeminate chattiness. Soon they are dating, but he shows little interest in sex, always claiming he has 'a big tort midterm' or other excuse. Still, she would rather stay with this eerily pretty man who shows no interest in other women, even if it means letting him have his regular Wednesday through Saturday 'boys nights out' in Charlotte or Raleigh or Atlanta...."

I think we've all been there, Liza.

It May Sound Real, But I Assure It's Not (?) Update: Just in case this isn't clear -- perhaps it's too damn believable Elizabeth Edwards would say exactly this -- this is a satire. It's made up. Iowahawk wrote it.

But we all know that John Edwards has seen the ABBA tribute musical Mama Mia at least three or four times.

I'm not saying that makes him gay.

I'm just saying, well, I guess that was what I was saying.

digg this
posted by Ace at 08:08 PM

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